Wednesday, 30 October 2013

NMEeeeeeh: Eminem, Aiden Grimshaw and Avril Lavigne.

Would you like to hear some music? Would you like to read my opinions on said music? Would you like a speedboat? Well only two of those three things will come true if you read this blog (you'll have to wait till the end to find out which, though), I THINK it's time for an all new NMEeeeeeh...

Eminem - The Monster, feat. Rihanna
Available now

Right in time for Halloween, Eminem has unveiled The Monster, his third collaboration with Rihanna after Love The Way You Lie (parts 1&2). When these two get together it's usually a great success, so my expectations were pretty high before I listened to this, although at the same time the tracks Eminem has released so far from his upcoming album The Marshall Mathers LP 2 have seen him referring to people as "faggots" like he has been throughout his entire career. And what do we do when straight men call people "faggots"? WE OGLE THEM WITH THEIR TOPS OFF, OF COURSE!!




Now the objectification of the straight man is out of the way, I can get on with listening to his new song, which features Rihanna who the last time we saw her was teaching Miley Cyrus a thing or two about twerking in her Pour It Up video. Wow.

The Monster opens with Rihanna belting, which is always a promising way to begin. "I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed", she sings, which sets the tone for the rest of the song. Eminem's rapping is quick-fire and erratic in the style that he's become well-known for, and he quickly switches between voices and changes the mood, one minute he's talking seriously and the next he's putting on voices and howling like a wolf.

It might not surprise you to hear this, particularly given my opening description of Eminem mentioned nothing of his back catalogue but did contain three shirtless pictures of him, but I don't listen to a lot of rap music and consequently don't know an awful lot about it. What I do know, however, is that this is a really great song and once again Rihanna and Eminem have made fantastic music together, which I urge you to check out for yourself by listening below...

While this time around it's Rihanna he's collaborating with, let's reflect on Eminem collaborations gone by as we ask-- how many Didos out of 5 does The Monster get..?

Aiden Grimshaw - Satisfy Me
Released 26th November

Those of you with a good memory will recall plucky young Aiden Grimshaw from the seventh series (otherwise known as THE BEST SERIES) of The X Factor we he performed Mad World in what appeared to be a straitjacket and did a weird version of Thriller for Halloween week with a lot of eye-liner on. He got booted out far too early (that week he was up against national treasure Katie Waissel , so you can see why he wasn't spared) and went on to release an album, which was accompanied by the single Is This Love which I still listen to from time to time, because it is canny good.

Well Aiden Grimshaw has undergone a bit of a re-brand and is now known as just Aiden, a move which I think is stupid and thus will be ignoring. He's also ditched his famed quiff hairstyle and in his new promo photo is shirtless with a snake around his neck. He's done that really annoying thing gay men do on Instagram where they post a shirtless photo from the neck upwards, which is usually accompanied by a caption like "new haircut" or "off to bed, sleeeeepy time" when in fact the caption might as well say "WELL LOOK AT YOU THINKING ABOUT ME SHIRTLESS, BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT I HAVEN'T EVEN SHOWN YOU ANY NIP ITS ALL YOUR DOING". God, gay men are the worst.

Getting back to the artist formerly known as Aiden Grimshaw, considering he appears to have undergone a more "serious" re-brand his new track Satisfy Me is actually surprisingly pop, and was co-written with Dimitri Tikovoi who has worked with Sophie Ellis-Bextor and NICOLA ROBERTS. The bridge to the song is spoken, which I'm not a massive fan of, but the chorus is catchy and the production is excellent.

Have a listen to Satisfy Me yourself here BUT BE WARNED THERE IS A SWEAR WORD IN IT:

Not bad at all. I'm just very confused by the re-brand. Dido?

Avril Lavigne - Bad Girl, feat. Marilyn Manson
Released 4th November, as part of Avril Lavigne's self-titled new album

In recent years Marilyn Manson has collaborated with Lady GaGa and been the soundtrack to a Britney Spears tour interlude, so it was only a matter of time before he fell into the clutches of Avril Lavigne. The two have formed an unlikely alliance, and recorded the song Bad Girl together which made its online debut yesterday and features on Avril's upcoming album the imaginatively titled Avril Lavigne (but still, at least it's not a worse name than Goodbye Lullaby, blech!).

Bad Girl opens with Marilyn Manson muttering "just lay your head in daddy's lap, you're a bad girl" which in itself is terrifying and makes me not want to listen to the rest of the song. The guitar riff kicks in and sounds decidedly more heavy metal than anything we've heard from Avril in a very long time, and the lyrics are undoubtedly the most sexual she's ever made, "you know that I'm a little tease, tease", she sings. The chorus features the concerning line "choke me because I said so", while Manson's contribution to the song is reduced to a few shouts and screams here and there.

Basically, the song is a total racket and the lyrics are embarrassing. It's probably worth listening to once or twice if you're a fan of Avril Lavigne, or Marilyn Manson for that matter, but it's nowhere near her best work. Still here it is if you want to judge for yourself...

However, I'm not rating the song very highly at all, if I'm honest...

Aaaaaaaand that's all.

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