Tuesday, 4 June 2013


When I'm not getting all inexplicably riled up about boybands and their homophobic attitudes towards other boybands, I tends to keep this a fairly light-hearted blog. Exhibit A, a brand new NMEeeeeeh...

Megan and Liz - Release You
Released 4th June

"Megan and Liz" is the official band name for two young women, one named Megan and the other named Liz. I can only imagine the difficult hours spent in meetings deciding on that name. IMAGINATIVE STUFF. So anyway, they make videos on YouTube where they open their mouths and songs come out, much like those cookie jars which were popular in the early 90s where you would push a cow's head back to put cookies in and they would go MOOOOOOOOO, except obviously much more musical. Remember those cookie jars though? Hilarious.

Moving on from novelty cookie jars, Release You is the first proper single from these YouTube stars. The song is produced by Max Martin who, for those of you who are unfamiliar, is responsible for so many AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING pop songs over the past 15 years that, to be honest, it's a wonder he ever leaves the house. If I were that talented I'd probably spend my hours masturbating over a mirror, but having said that I'm already dangerously ego-driven as it is and I've never worked with Britney Spears, Pink, Christina Aguilera, Robyn, Avril Lavigne, Katy Perry or the Backstreet Boys LET ALONE BLOODY ALL OF THEM. And now wor Max has yet another gem to fit under his already very busy pop-belt.

"You used to make me laugh, but now you make me sick", they sing in the verse. I'll say no more really. The verses are a bit shouty and the chorus is very easy to sing along with AND THERE'S A MIDDLE 8 WHICH IS REALLY IMPORTANT IN A POP SONG IF YOU ASK ME. What would Teenage Dream be without that amazing I CAN GET YOUR HEART RACING IN MY SKIN TIGHT JEANS bit (actually that was a bad example as without that middle 8 Teenage Dream would still be a cracking song, but you know what I'm getting at)?

It's got a lot of attitude, it's very "feisty" (a word I hate, but it's very applicable) and you could easily imagine Kelly Clarkson or perhaps Katy Perry singing it, and that's never very rarely a bad thing, am I right? You might not know who Megan and Liz are right now, but this song is a very effective, and very catchy, springboard for them. Watch this space.


Inspired by the fame that Megan and Liz found on YouTube, how many other YouTube stars out of 5 does Release You manage to rack up...?

To quote that cookie jar: "mooooooooving on"

Rizzle Kicks - That's Classic
Released TBA

Good day to be in a duo, isn't it??

Now I'm not going to pretend to know a lot about Rizzle Kicks- but what I do know is that they did that one song with Olly Murs, that they did another song about humping or something, and that I would definitely shag the one on the left in this photo, whose name is either Jordan Stephens or Harley Alexander-Sule, because those are the only two people in the group.

That's Classic (*gag*) is the first song to be unveiled from the lads's's's's upcoming second album which is to be called Roaring 20s (*gag again*) and will feature collaborations with Pharrell Williams ("reductive" - Madonna) and Fatboy Slim (who has never done a song with Madonna). 

This song has everything you can expect from a Rizzle Kicks track, throwbacks to the 1920s music hall style, "cheeky" lyrics *gag*, although it does open with the line "old school, motherfuckerrrrrr" which my mother, who counts herself as quite the Rizzle Kicks fan, might not particularly appreciate. They also manage to throw in a diss to Daniel Radcliffe, which is quite funny, but they do claim in the chorus to "get up to all kinds of antics" which I'm afraid, yes, you guessed it... *gag*

You can watch the video for yourself here:

Despite the slight cheesiness of it all, I do like Rizzle Kicks and I think they've delivered again so they're getting...

...three YouTube stars out of five. So not bad going at all.


Miley Cyrus - We Can't Stop
Released 18th August

She "can't be tamed", she's "nodding her head like yeah, moving her hips like yeah", she's "just being Miley"... and she's got a new bloody song out!

In the time she's been away from the music scene Miley Cyrus has got engaged, lopped all her hair off into a controversial blonde quiff...and seemingly got quite a taste for the old druggie-drugs. This song is not at all what you might expect from a Miley Cyrus comeback single (ie. it sounds nothing like Party In The USA), but in a way that was to be expected. It seems like Miley Cyrus is more determined than ever to prove that her Hannah Montana wig has long since been stashed away in the loft, and that she's a grown up woman (of twenty years old...). It's safe to say that she's reached the stage in her career known as In The Zone.

A lot of pop blogs today have been losing their shit over this new song, but honestly I'm just not getting it. I'm a big fan of Miley's vocals but I much prefer her voice on upbeat faster songs like Fly On The Wall and Party In The USA to ballads like The Climb, and unfortunately despite the party-driven lyrics of We Can't Stop ("everybody in line for the bathroom/trying to get a line in the bathroom", "dancing with Molly", "it's our party we can do what we want"), it's towards the lower half of the BPM spectrum.

THAT SAID there is a "la-dee-da-da-dee" bit, which will have even the grumpiest of miserable cunts singing along.

It's not a bad song by any means, it's just a bit strange hearing such grownup lyrics coming from Miley Cyrus's canny little Southern mouth, and I can't help but feel like this song would have been better off had it been offered to Rihanna, Ke$ha or even Lady GaGa, because Christ knows she loves her Mary Jane. And I'm not talking Mary Jane Watson of Spiderman fame. I'm talking about marijuana.

Don't just take my word for it, though. Listen to We Can't Stop here:

How "high" (lol) up the rating scale is it, though?

"Chris Crocker" high, evidently. Which, let's face it, is pretty high. Allegedly.


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