Friday, 26 April 2013


Annie - Tube Stops and Lonely Hearts
Released 1st May

Good news for fans of pop music that will only be heard by a handful of blog-reading gay men- Annie is back with a brand new single. I'm quite a big fan of Annie, her song I Know Ur Girlfriend Hates Me helped me through a particular difficult breakup when I was 17 and the guy I was going out with DECIDED HE WAS GOING TO START GOING OUT WITH GIRLS INSTEAD, meanwhile she also has a song called Anthonio which is about a man knocking her up on her holiday which I can slightly relate to because we all have mishaps on holiday- I once, on holiday for the first time without my parents in Gran Canaria, decided to use a cotton bud to clean my ears with (something my mother always forbade me from doing) only to push it in too far and deafen myself. Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents would have had a field day.

Anyway, this new Annie song is very good but it's not very...surprising. Do you know what I mean? It sounds exactly like what you'd expect an Annie song in 2013 sound like. There is a bit of a post-chorus bit where she goes "ooh ma ma ma, ooh ma ma ma" but actually maybe it is "ooh la la la" but I think "ma ma ma" sounds funnier, so I'm just going to pretend.

I also have an issue with the song because clearly she came up with the title "Tube Stops and Lonely Hearts" before anything else, thinking it sounded clever, which I suppose is quite a cynical way of looking at it but really I'd rather a song happen a bit more organically than that (saying that, I also love Little Mix's new song How You Doin' which has not one, not two, but eight co-writers so maybe that's a slightly hypocritical criticism from me there).

Whatever, it's a nice song. Listen to it here:

In honour of Annie's Swedish heritage-- let's be culturally insensitive and see how many Swedish Chefs out of five I'm going to give it?

Moving on.

Avril Lavigne - 17 (Live)
Release TBA

Avril Lavigne has unveiled another of the songs from her upcoming fifth album, the follow up to Goodbye Lullaby which arguably is one of the most embarrassing album titles ever. It's like Avril Lavigne had one hat, into which she put the words "dark", "goodbye", "midnight", "black" and "broken", then into the other hat she put the words "princess", "starlight", "innocence" and "lullaby" and drew out two Tumblr-tastic words to name her album. Her upcoming release is still unnamed but if you ask me "Dark Innocence", "Broken Starlight" and "Midnight Princess" are all possibilities.

So this new track was debuted in a live performance, where she explained the song was called 17 and it's about "...duh...being 17". Like I know I'm a Madonna fan so I shouldn't tell people to be acting their ages, but even Taylor Swift is now releasing songs about 22, and you've got a good five years on Taylor Swift, Avril.

Thankfully, the lyrics are about looking back at being 17, in particular a romance she had with a boy who works in a record shop, or a gas station or whoever it is that angsty American Canadian girls fall in love with when they're teenagers. I dread to think what my loser American boyfriend was chasing around when he was 17, although as previously discussed when I was 17 I was CHASING AROUND LADS WHO WOULD GO ON TO LEAVE ME FOR GIRLS. Not that I'm bitter or anything. Nope. Hardly ever think about it. Never.

Avril Lavigne in her later years has started singing the choruses of her songs in this really high shrill voice which I could imagine gets on some people's nerves, but personally I get a kick out of it, and this song has a really great sound to it even if the lyrics are incredibly cliché and generally "lame". It's also hard to take the lyrics seriously as when Avril Lavigne was actually 17 she was releasing songs like this:

17 is a nice song, and she looks like she's having fun performing it in the video, which you can see here:

It's OK, isn't it? But just how OK..?

And finally for today...

Sia - Kill and Run
Released 13th May

Jesus this Great Gatsby soundtrack is pretty fucking star-studded, isn't it? Florence, Beyoncé, Lana-- and no Emeli Sandé?? What the eff??

The latest song to be revealed from the soundtrack comes, this time, from Sia (of Diamonds and shouty-and-nonsensical-Christina-Aguilera-ballad fame). It's a far cry from the David Guetta and Flo-Rida collaborations that have made Sia a household name over the past 18 months, and in fact it's yet another vocals-and-piano number, but thankfully it sounds more in line with Lana Del Rey's effort than Florence's. In fact the lyrics sound very Del Rey-esque as well "kill and run...a bullet through your heart" she purrs in the chorus.

I'll be honest: this is a nice song, the words are nice, it's not unpleasant to listen to like that howling mess Florence put her name to (which I reviewed yesterday) but you'll have a hard time humming this back to yourself once it's over. Perhaps that's a shallow way of looking at music, but she's competing with some big names to make herself heard on this film soundtrack, and unfortunately I don't think this song is exceptional enough to be remembered next to some of the heavyweights on there.

Give it a listen yourself, and let me know if you think that's too harsh a criticism or you think I'm just being a bitch for no reason:

As the Swedish Chef himself would say, "herguee berguee lermee schermee":

Well I only had to make one graphic today, so I'm a happy man.


  1. I absolutely love your version of Avril's album naming process. Think you pretty much nailed it.

  2. "...whoever it is that angsty American girls fall in love with when they're teenagers."

    Canadian girls. Though why I'm rushing to claim Avril for my own country, I don't know.

  3. ERGH, I hate when people make that mistake-- apols.