Monday, 22 April 2013


After not one but two heterosexual men claimed to enjoy the last blog that I wrote a couple of days ago, I decided that maybe I should do my best to get on the blogging horse. And so here we are again, for another edition of NMEeeeeeh where we discuss three new releases and whether they are "much cop".

Union J - Carry You
Released 2nd June

I'll be honest, I didn't watch very much of the most recent series of X Factor, and from what I did see I can tell you now that I was not a fan of Union J. Maybe with bands like One Direction and The Wanted already having hit after hit I just don't see the need for another boyband, and these lot just seem like a less fun version of One Direction. Maybe it's just that I don't fancy any of them, a rarity when it comes to boybands, that I couldn't get interested in them. Or maybe, just maybe, I am simply too old to "get" groups like Union J.

However, Union J have one thing that One Direction do not and that is an openly gay member, so I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and have an open mind when it came to listening to their debut single Carry You.

In fact, I was pleasantly surprised- Carry You is really catchy and not nearly as cheesy as the shite that One Direction churn out most of the time, and the chorus goes "I'll carry yo-o-o-OOOOOU" which sounds great. Moreover, the lyrics seem to be about going out with a total mentalist- "the demons are screaming so loud in your head, you're tired you're broken, you're bruised", they sing in the middle 8. Hopefully the video will feature Amanda Bynes wandering round the streets of Los Angeles in a hoodie, and Union J rushing to her aid. IMAGINE.

"I don't mind walking in your shoes", says one of them at one point. Probably the gay one. Any excuse to get some high heels on, eh? LOLZZZZ.

Don't just take my word for it though, have a listen to Carry You yourself:

What about Reese Witherspoon getting arrested, eh?? In honour of that totally unexpected turn of events, how many Reese mugshots out of five does Carry You get?

Lana Del Rey - Young and Beautiful
Released 6th May

Poor old Lana Del Rey's contribution to the soundtrack to The Great Gatsby was slightly overshadowed when it was announced that Beyoncé would be (for some reason) covering Amy Winehouse's "Back To Black" for the film.

This is a song asking a man OR A WOMAN IF SHE IS SECRETLY A LESBIAN whether he will still be around when she is elderly. "Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?" she asks. The answer is yes, because let's not forget that she might not be young or beautiful, but she will probably still be rich and that's all that matters at the end of the day.

All jokes aside, this is quite possibly one of the finest songs Lana Del Rey has ever made, it sounds beautiful her voice is amazing and her delivery is, as ever, perfect. It's not even as depressing as most of her songs either, which is definitely in its favour.

Listen to Young and Beautiful yourself below:

Speaking of "young and beautiful", let's see how many Reese Witherspoons out of 5 the new Lana Del Rey song gets..?


CSS - Hangover
Release TBA

CSS, or Cansei de ser Sexy to give them their full Portugese title, are one of my favourite bands ever ever ever. Their last album was not up to much, in my humble opinion, but the singles Hits Me Like A Rock and City Grrrrrl were fabulous, so all is not lost.

Their new single is the first song to be taken from their upcoming album Planta, and it is called Hangover. There is a lot going on, there's a lot of sound effects and a lot of buzzing and hissing and a lot of stuff that doesn't really sound like it belongs together. However, if you persevere it does eventually start to make sense. 

The song works on two levels, cleverly, it's not really singing about a hangover it's about having your heart broken. "Never had a hangover till you, never had my heart broken till you", sings the chorus, followed by a very sweet line "I'd walk through the gates of hell as long as I'm with you".

This song is admittedly not to everyone's tastes, honestly it's a bit of a racket. It's not amazing, and it's not among CSS's best work by any stretch of the imagination, which is a shame cos if this is a taste of what to expect from the album then it should probably come with ear plugs, but it's nice enough.

Listen to Hangover here:

Yeah, that's not for everyone.

How many disorderly Reese heads does it get, out of 5..?

Aaaaaaaand that's it.

1 comment:

  1. this entire blog just makes my life in general so much more bearable. thank you.