Friday, 5 October 2012


In case you're late to the party, NMEeeeeeh stands for "new music- eeeeeeh!" which is what we say in the North East of England when we're excited. Or surprised. Or happy. Basically, any emotion has an appropriate "eeeeeeh" to go with it. Would you like to hear some new music (eeeeeeh)? Of course you would. 

Stooshe - Waterfalls
Released 5th November, which is also Bonfire Night so THERE COULD BE FIREWORKS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

TLC's Waterfalls is a fairly brilliant song, and Stooshe have had one of catchiest singles of 2012 with their hit Black Heart, so a meeting of the two could only have positive effects, right???

Seemingly not.

I mean I'm just going to come out and say it: I don't really care for Stooshe. I know everyone on Twitter thinks they're the second-coming or something, and my mam turns the radio up every time Black Heart comes on but there's just something about them that gets on my tits. And that "something" is the last 30 seconds of Black Heart when the lairy one (WHICH ONE HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA) starts hollering "HE GOTTA BLACK HEART HE GOT SUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRCH A DIRRRRTY BLACK HEART" in an inexplicable American accent and totally ruins the song. When Susan Boyle starts rambling towards the end of her songs, Simon Cowell has the good sense to turn her microphone off which is what I feel should have been done there.

We're not talking about all that yelling at the end of Black Heart, though, we're talking about their new song Waterfalls, which is apparently going to feature a special appearance in the music video from TLC themselves (not all of them, obviously, because one of them is dead isn't she? But that's just one of them, and life goes on and bills still need to be paid, do they not??)

The only way I can describe the problem with this song, and with Stooshe in general, is that it's a little bit too low budget to be a high budget thing and a little bit too high budget to be a low budget thing, do you know what I mean? The soul of the original is gone, and in its place there is a bit of "LOOK AT US DOING HARMONIES", but at least they're too busy doing three-point harmonies to start whooping and hollering like they normally do.

It's not the worst thing to ever happen to music, but I'm in no rush to listen to it again and I wouldn't be surprised if the original re-enters the charts and ends up doing better than the Stooshe version, to be honest.

Don't let my whining spoil your enjoyment of it though, give it a listen yourself here if you want:

Poor show, Stooshe. Poor show.

Inspired by Nicki Minaj seemingly tearing a strip off Mariah Carey on the set of American Idol, today's songs will be given a rating on the "scary Nicki Minaj face" scale. The question is, how many "scary Nicki Minaj face"s out of 5 have Stooshe managed to rack up?

Not many is the answer.

Ellie Goulding, feat. Calvin Harris - I Need Your Love
Released 8th October

When I heard that Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding were collaborating I thought "HER VOICE IS TOO QUIET FOR HIS MUSIC", he's better suited to people like Florence who will howl away as if she's accidentally stubbed her toe on the bottom stair, and she's better suited to people like Starsmith who'll make a nice backing track that's going to make her whispering sound like actual singing. 


No I was not. In fact, the song is bloody brilliant. It starts off quite basic and then there is a very Calvin Harris-y instrumental bit, and then it gets a bit quieter again while Ellie does her bit and then it all goes off and it's all generally very good indeed.

It's not going to win either of them any new fans; if you're annoyed by Calvin Harris's noisy breakdowns or Ellie Goulding's singing voice then they are both present and accounted for in this collaboration, but if you're a fan of both or either then you're in for a treat when you give it a spin.

It's not yet known if the song is going to be released as a single, but its appearing on both artists' upcoming albums, which is certainly a good sign.

Jessie Ware - Night Light
Available now as part of her album "Devotions"

So I first encountered the music of Jessie Ware when I reviewed her single Running for that blog I did about the Mercury music prize. And I must admit, having initially written the blog simply so I could go "AREN'T ALL THE ACTS WHO'VE BEEN NOMINATED SHIT", Jessie Ware actually impressed me very much. And now she has a new single out. And the single is called Night Light.

It starts off with a cello which is a good way for anything to start and there's then a lot more instruments. I won't name them all. Either way, it's a very good song about someone watching over you while you sleep. However, she does seem quite happy about the situation suggesting the subject of the song is a lover rather than an intruder, which is reassuring.

To be honest I'm pretty much done reviewing it. It's really, really good. And that's all you need to know. LISTEN TO IT NOW AND LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I DO.

And that's that!


  1. I love your ratings, I agree with them completely on this occasion.... which is kinda strange in itself, I mean we all know you have good taste, but me? Oh well, I enjoyed this musical interlude on a jolly chilly day. Thank you.

    *waves from Brighton*

  2. My opinions are completely unjustified Jason, your taste is just as valid as mine :p