Monday, 1 October 2012


Want to hear some new music? DO YOU????

Rihanna - Diamonds
Out now

Yes yes I've already blogged about it, but I deliberately left my opinions out of the equation so that when the time came I'd be able to do it in a separate blog. And here we are. I hope you're excited.

Following on in the vain of Only Girl (In The World) and We Found Love I was expecting this song to be a proper club jam that made you want to throw you arms in the air, showering everyone with your beverage of choice, and then dry-hump a stranger until the friction of fabrics ends up giving you thrush. That's what I wanted from the new Rihanna single. Thrush.

Instead, this is a bit more of a quiet one in the vain of some of her album tracks (Cold Case Love, Drunk On Love, Farewell, Fire Bomb TO NAME BUT FOUR) but that doesn't make it any less good. The track was "penned" by Sia and, given that the only songs I actually know by Sia are all David Guetta or Flo-Rida collaborations, that's still obvious even to me when you listen to it. Yet there's something about Rihanna's delivery that just makes it a Rihanna song, and I suppose that's why no matter HOW ANGRY RIHANNA MAKES YOU WITH THE CHOICES IN HER PERSONAL LIFE you can't deny that she is very good at the day job.

There's a lot of talk on Twitter about it being "underwhelming" which I find very surprising. Diamonds is actually a really nice love song with lyrics about being in a moment with someone you really love; and there and then "shining" and being "beautiful, like diamonds in the sky". It's really, really good. But then I have been listening to it all bloody weekend so I am somewhat biased.

If you'd like to make your own mind up, then I will make it very easy for you by posting a video of the song right here underneath these words, and above the words that are still to come later in the blog post (it's not a lyric video, curiously, unless we're mishearing and the lyrics to the song are actually DIAMONDS RRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR R R R R R R RRRRRR RRRRR):

In light of this being Rihanna's five millionth single release, today's NMEeeeeeh rating scale is based on "oft-overlooked Rihanna singles" from over the course of her career. The question is, how many oft-overlooked Rihanna singles out of 5 does Diamonds get..?

Little Mix - DNA
Released 12th November

Success is notoriously fleeting for X Factor winners (Leona Lewis and Little Mix remain the only X Factor victors still signed to evil genius Simon Cowell's SyCo record label) and while their first original single Wings did manage to top the charts, it's fair to say that Little Mix aren't out of the woods and into Simon's good books just yet, and so their choice of second single was crucial to what happens next in terms of their career.

Intriguingly, DNA opens with the sound of a child's music-box mixed with the sounds of a heart monitor flat-lining which, I'll be honest, does put one slightly in mind of infant death, which is hardly what you want to think about when you're trying to enjoy a pop song.

It can't be denied that the electronic backing, dramatic vocal and stuttering lyrics do put one in mind of Katy Perry's ET which wouldn't be so blatant if it weren't for the fact that most people would say that it was with Little Mix's performance of ET on last year's Halloween special of X Factor that first made them stand out from the competition. However, to give the song its credit it is very catchy and will probably be a big hit.

There is a talking bit in the middle much like in Whole Again by Atomic Kitten, which rhymes "passes all the tests" with "cardiac arrest" (no mention of BREASTS though which also rhymes). Then there is a mint chorus bit which sounds a bit like an old school mass in a cathedral or something, which fills my Catholic heart with joy.

Just to let you see if I'm onto something here, here is Little Mix's new single DNA:

And here is their performance of ET:

Is it just me..?

Oh and here is DNA's position on the "Oft-overlooked Rihanna singles" chart:

Cheryl - Screw You, feat. Wretch 32
Release date TBA (except you can get it on iTunes as part of her album, which makes you wonder why people bother releasing singles anymore doesn't it?)

OK, so technically this isn't a "new" song; it's probably the most talked about track on The Artist Formerly Known As Cheryl Cole's most recent album A Million Lights. However, I don't have this album, and Cheryl put a lyric video up to this song recently so it's new to me. If you think this is cheating then I wholeheartedly apologise but I'm sure your life isn't over, your world isn't going to zoom out of orbit and end all civilisation as we know it, is it?

As Cheryl is always so keen to point out she doesn't write her own songs, so we shouldn't read too much into this being about her ex-husband and shagger-about Ashley Cole. However, by that logic Whitney Houston didn't write I Will Always Love You, and therefore you could argue the emotion of that song is completely fake. Similarly, Michael Jackson didn't write Man In The Mirror yet no one is disputing that he stood there gauping at himself and asking his reflection to "change his way and no message could have rang any clearer" (when I was younger I used to think it was "no moustache" HAHAHAHAA kids, eh?).

Anyway, the song itself is (obviously) quite an angry one. "Can't believe all the shit I did for you", Cheryl sings. Actually she doesn't say the word "shit", but a sound effect alludes to that being what Cheryl would sing if she was a bit less child-friendly. Rihanna would probably have just said the word "shit". The jury is out on whether Beyoncé would have said the word "shit" or left it to a sound effect.

There's a lot going on in this song, it's a bit all over the place in the vein of Girls Aloud's Biology, except it's not that good. It's a bit like someone has cut and paste a few different songs together, it just doesn't flow very well. And the chorus isn't very catchy. And there's bits in the chorus that overlap which makes it hard to sing over. And I like a chorus I can sing along to.

Still. It's alright.

That's all for now.


  1. I cant stand Cheryl, but I'm really surprised to say that I love Little Mix song, really an old fart like me, but its true, I've been bopping around my sofa like a mad thing.


    *waves from Brighton*

  2. You cant stand Cheryl????? You want to be careful telling that to a Geordie :p x