Thursday, 20 September 2012

NMEeeeeeh.

So we all know that NME stands for "New Music Express". If you didn't know that then I apologise for generalising, and hope you appreciate the bit of trivia. So anyway, I'm starting a new feature on this here blog based on this fact. It's called NMEeeeeeh (that's 6 "E"s if you're interested) which stands for "New Music- Eeeeeeh". Maybe it will be a regular feature, maybe I will never do it again. Basically I'm going to chuck you some new songs and let you know if they're a heap of shite or not. FUN TIMES AHEAD, EH?

Let's see what's new out in the musical world:

Misha B - Do You Think Of Me?
Released October 28th

The followup to Misha B's fucking mental debut single Home Run is called Do You Think Of Me? and is admittedly a bit more tame than its predecessor. That's not to say, however, that it's boring as it's actually something of a tears-on-the-dance-floor affair about pining for a lost love that starts off all dramatic vocals and drum machines and by the end of it sounds more like something in the vain of Show Me Love that makes you want to cry ugly tears and do a slut-drop all at the same time. If she carries on like this, Misha B could have one of the most interesting post-X Factor careers in the show's history.

Fancy a listen..?



Of course the real mystery is: what's its rating on the "Britney's head" scale, out of 5..?



Lady GaGa - Cake Like Lady GaGa


It seems the Mary Jane might have gone to Lady GaGa's head a bit, as this new bewildering track with producer DJ White Shadow (the man who has so far co-produced her singles The Edge Of Glory and Born This Way, to name just a couple) has recently appeared online which sees GaGa channeling her inner bad bitch and actually attempting some class of rap.

Ladies and gentlemen: I shit you not.

If this song is as tongue-in-cheek as I hope and pray it is (and I'm 99% sure this was done for a larff) she's actually done quite a job. She goes down the traditional rap route bragging about her "private plane" and "diamond ring in your face", but then goes on to be a bit more off-the-wall insisting that she will "fuck your wife like Lady GaGa", compares herself to Donatella Versace and then threatens to "snatch your fucking weave out bitch" which could easily be a reference to long-time rival Madonna but, let's face it, probably isn't. 

"Burkha swag like Lady GaGa", raps GaGa over White Shadow's beat, which you can check out for yourself in all it's head-scratchingly baffling glory right here...


Let's be honest, though. It is, of course, utter crap.


Mika - The Origin Of Love
Released 8th October


And so, from a woman called Misha and a rap about cake to a man whose name sounds like Misha who once sang a song about women who eat lots of cake.

Indeed.

For those more used to the Mika who leaps around screeching in his high-pitched voice about being golden, sucking people off and loving fat lasses, this song could well come as a big surprise. It seems in the time he's been away since his last album Mika has grown up somewhat and this cut from his upcoming album (also named The Origin Of Love) is a clear indication of that. Gone are the children's choirs and and Carry On... style innuendos, and instead it seems Mika's trying his darndest to show us that in his time off he's become a bit more sensible and arty. 

Whether or not you think he's trying too hard is up to you, particularly if you watch the accompanying video clip for the song which is every Instagram-loving hipster's wet dream and even features a tasteful clip of a lady's MINGE. My goodness. What would the little girl in the Grace Kelly video say???

Seriously, though, there is a cheeky bit of nudity in this video so if you don't like the sight of a lady's bare breasts/bush then this is not the video for you. Otherwise, here you go YOU DIRTY PERV...



I'd love to discuss how the complicated harmonies contrast greatly with the fairly minimalistic musical accompaniment, but I just saw a lady's pubes so I'm smirking like a 9-year-old.


And that's it for today's NMEeeeeeh. If this is the first and last in the series, then I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

I just hope people bring out some new music in the next few days.

2 comments:

  1. Great post, I'm loving the Mika song, fear that Gaga was being serious, which seems a little err odd and Misha is knocking my head sideways.

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  2. Britney's head scale is my favourite ever thing. You should review Gangnam Style in your next edition... would love to hear your take on that!

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