Saturday, 25 August 2012

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.

Four blogs in five days, people. I truly am bored. Just a reminder to y'all that if you enjoy my blog then you'll definitely enjoy my show on Pride Radio every Sunday 2pm-4pm. It's basically this blog but with some decent music thrown in for good measure. There's bitching, there's gossip, there's usually some Nicki Minaj thrown in. Definitely worth a listen I'd say, but then I am slightly biased.

Meanwhile, shall we get on with an all new Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup...

1. It seems that Las Vegas has gone to Céline Dion's head...


For those of you still in shock from the leaked naked photos of Prince Harry, then are you in for a shock when you see the latest photoshoot from top diva Céline Dion

As part of a spread for V magazine, it seems that the longest face in showbiz has decided to ditch her usual squeaky-clean and has controversially posed topless in some arm-length leather gloves. WHAT A KINKY BITCH EH?


I'm telling you now, people, it is always the quiet ones.

She explains in the accompanying interview that motherhood changed her in ways she hadn't anticipated, saying: "I thought I had a life before. I'm more grounded now than ever before".

She's certainly looking grounded in this other picture from the shoot, in a rabbit mask and Adidas dungarees with cuddly toys stuck to them...


This image sums up Céline Dion at her most grounded. I can only imagine that before motherhood she ran around her home simulating sex with a life-size Teletubby and smearing the walls with shite.

Grounded.

2. Madonna sings a tune for Sir Elton.


At her concerts in Russia for her MDNA tour earlier this Summer, Madonna was heard voicing her support for punk band Pussy Riot. However, at a show in Nice last night, it was a very different pussy that she decided to lend her support towards.

You see a few weeks ago Elton John was doing an interview, during which he described Madonna as looking like a "fairground stripper", adding that her MDNA tour was a "disaster" and that it "couldn't happen to a more horrible cunt". Which, let's face it, is not a nice thing to publicly say about someone regardless of how you feel about them.

It seems Madonna isn't too upset by his comments though as during her performance of her song Masterpiece yesterday (a song which, let's not forget, beat Elton John to winning a Golden Globe for Best Original Song after he'd declared she had "no fucking chance" of winning PROMPTING HIM TO PULL THIS AMAZING FACE) she dedicated the song to Sir Elton, saying she "forgives him" for his comments.

"I know he's a big fan of the song", she said about Elton, "And I know he's a big fan of mine. And you know what? I forgive him. Gotta start somewhere".

It's now over to Sir Elton for his, no doubt extremely toxic, rebuttal.

3. Christina Aguilera leaks all over.


Now I know whenever you hear the words "Christina Aguilera" and "leak" the first thing you think of is that unfortunate incident at Etta James's memorial with the "fake tan" dripping down her inner leg...


...Yergh.

But that's not what we're here to talk about today. What we are here to discuss is the new Christina Aguilera demo which leaked online yesterday. It's called Your Body and, in the admittedly quite low quality clip, Christina is up to her old tricks again essentially trying to get her leg over.

"All I wanna do is fuck your body", she sings in the chorus which, to be honest, I think is a bit beneath Christina at this stage. The song is OK but it doesn't scream "comeback" which, after all that business with Bionic, I think it really needed to (also the lyric "fucking your body" rather than "fucking you" puts me in mind of something like American Psycho but I'm sure that's more my issue than Christina's).

For some reason Christina is insistent on releasing unimaginative songs about getting dick in her when all she really needs to do is what should be coming naturally to her, and that's opening her mouth and fucking singing. Her voice should really be enough, she doesn't need to cheapen herself constantly especially given that she's released songs like The Voice Within, Can't Hold Us Down and Hurt which actually have a message that speaks to people. Even her more sexual songs like Dirrty or Candyman were still more tongue-in-cheek than this Your Body nonsense which just comes across as desperate in my opinion.

The song isn't that bad but it's the sort of thing that would crop up on Rihanna's Talk That Talk album and be described as filler, and never get a music video or be performed live. It's simply not worthy of re-launching the careers of one of the most supremely talented ladies in the industry today.

Thankfully, it doesn't look like she's going to be trying any attention-seeking gimmicks on the set of the video to get the song noticed...



...aaaaand her hair is pink.

YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, XTINA.

And that's your lot.
Laters!
x

2 comments:

  1. You never fail to crack me up.
    Never stop posting, please.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers getting naked on my desktop.

    ReplyDelete