Friday, 29 July 2011

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.

This Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup that you are about to enjoy (I hope you enjoy it, at least, and frankly if you don't then you can fuck right off out me life) will be the 75th one I have ever written. Would you Adam and Eve it? Just think of the things we've read about over those 75 celebrity roundups, the relationships we've seen form and those we've seen end. The music videos we've mocked and the outfits we've taken the piss out of. This, folks, is what life is all about. WHAT'S GOING ON TODAY, THEN..?

1. Lady GaGa is doing a very long walk indeed, I can only hope she's getting people to sponsor her so at the very least people with cerebral palsy or something can benefit from it.

Yeah so you know that singer, Lady GaGa? She's quite famous I imagine you've heard of her. Anyway a while ago she set tongues wagging when she revealed that her latest music video would be coming in JUST DAYS. If you don't believe me then fuck you, because I have proof:

There are many things we can derive from this simple tweet. First off, GaGa's insistence on referring to herself as "Mother Monster" (for those among you who are, you know, idiots, that's what MM stands for) is nauseating. If ever I was to meet Lady GaGa and she used the expression "Mother Monster" in my presence I would grab whatever utensil she was wearing on her head and clout her with it until she got a grip.

Secondly, we can see from the date (15th July, TWO EFFING WEEKS AGO) that Lady GaGa is, in fact, a bloody great liar as the "days" she spoke of in her tweet have now rolled into weeks, next she'll be telling us that we can expect the video in the Autumn of 2013. Thing is, though, this tweet set the fan community abuzz with rumours of exactly what the next single was going to be. Frankly the fact she'd used the hash-tag "Yuyi" makes it blindingly obvious she's releasing Yoü and I (that and the fact everywhere she goes these days she's performing that song) but most of her fans are 13 year old homos who are too busy being shoved in their lockers and disappointing their parents to do any minor detective work.

Obviously wise to her fans' impatience, GaGa wisely decided to give them a taster of the video with her most popular fansite "GaGa Daily" releasing the following still from the video-shoot:

She wants to watch where she's going, walking down the middle of the street like that. Hope she's at least wearing something reflective so that when the ambulance arrives they don't go "it was her own stupid fault, I hope she doesn't make it just to teach a lesson to the rest of the world".

BUT NO! That's the whole point! GaGa herself has been dishing the dirt on the video and apparently it's all about her walking all the way from New York City to Nebraska all in the name of love. What a lovely message. As if to really hammer the point home, GaGa tweeted this picture of a pair of grassy shoes:

My mam would have something to say about those shoes, she hates ballet pumps and believes all women should, like herself, wear heels at all times. "But Carole," you'd say to her. Or even, if you were feeling particularly respectful, you might start, "But Mrs. Welsh". However you started your sentence you'd finish it like this, "Lady GaGa is walking all the way from New York City to Nebraska in the name of love-- she simply couldn't do it in high heels". To that my mam would simply give you a look, when we went to New York she walked all over the streets in her high heels. Fair enough after four days her big toe turned black and she feared it was going to have to be amputated, but it would have been worth it.

In the name of research, I decided to check out Lady GaGa's route using Google Maps:

You see that, folks? 20 days, 0 hours. Either this music video is going to depict a much-abridged version of the journey or this is going to be Lady GaGa's most over-bearingly long video yet...

2. Cher Lloyd calls Girls Aloud "cheesy" whilst promoting what can only be described as one of the cheesiest singles in the history of British pop music.

It seems like Cher Lloyd is rapidly becoming one of those popstars who goes along for an innocent interview, sits down in the chair awaits questions to be posed to her only for a hideous brat to possess her body and answer the questions on her behalf sparing no thought for consequences or the feelings of others.

In the run-up to her 18th birthday yesterday (Happy birthday, Cher, one can only presume you spent your night the same way I spent my 18th- a night out on Newcastle gay scene with guests dressing as either Madonna or Britney Spears depending on their preference with only closeted members of those invited choosing to go as Justin Timberlake which in itself is surely the queerest thing ever heard of EH, MATTHEW?), Cher gave an interview to The Guardian where she was quizzed about the musical influences on her upcoming album.

When asked whether she listened to girl-band Girls Aloud when she was growing up, Cher was quick to reply "No way!" despite having been mentored by one of its members Cheryl Cole during her time on The X Factor. She went on to say the group were "too cheesy" for her, as she preferred to listen to "grime" and "garage" music.

Not being funny, right, but I host my own show on a gay radio station, so I know cheesy music when I hear it and Cher Lloyd's debut single Swagger Jagger is probably the cheesiest song of 2011 so far (that wasn't released by Jedward.) I'm not saying there's anything wrong with cheesy music, and I'm a massive fan of Swagger Jagger- I think it's great! But chastising Girls Aloud for being cheesy when your own single rhymes "hater" with "see you later" seems a tad hypocritical.

Just to prove a point, let's have a quick listen to the song in question, Swagger Jagger:

And now let's listen to a Girls Aloud single from a few years back called Sexy! No, No, No...:

Can anyone honestly say they believe the latter is cheesier than the former? Really?

3. The new Nicola Roberts single is nothing short of amazing, and if you don't agree that's fine but you should know that I had ya ma.

Speaking of Girls Aloud, that leads us nicely onto the topic of Nicola Roberts and more importantly, her new single Lucky Day. First I'm going to backtrack a bit, if that's OK. Excellent.

You might remember I recently went on a bit of a blogging hiatus. Blogging was boring me a bit, so I stopped updating quite as much. In what can only be described as POOR TIMING, however, this was right around the emergence of Nicola Roberts's debut single Beat Of My Drum. Meaning it didn't get covered on this blog. To bring you up to speed: it is everything I wanted it to be. And more. Only one complaint, and that's her outfit in the accompanying music video:

She's strutting around in a pair of baggy knickers as if this an acceptable way to go on! Dear me. Thankfully, the song is fun and diverting enough to distract from this fashion faux pas, but really the first time I saw the Beat Of My Drum I longed for her second video and prayed that by the time it came out she'd have learned to put on bottoms.

Thankfully, I didn't have to wait that long for the video for her second single Lucky Day as it leaked online in its demo form and can still be seen on social networking site Tumblr. I was delighted the first time I saw it, the song is a pretty Kylie Minogue/Sophie Ellis-Bextor-type ditty but with the video still being in its preliminary stages the leaked version still contains directions for where special effects need to be put in. Embarrassing. Still, at least Nicola is fully clad.

Or so I thought! As the video went on, I noticed that Nicola's exhibitionist side was starting to take over and before I knew it...

The woman cannot help herself, I swear. SHE SHOULD BE CALLED KNICKERLA ROBERTS REALLY HAHAHAHAHA. If you don't believe me, let's continue with the video shall we?

I'd just like to stress that by this point in the video we are not quite at the minute mark. And there's more!

And then comes the money shot...

Honestly the girl ends up flashing her knickers more times in one music video would than a drunken member of the Loose Women panel would on an entire night out! Thankfully she's singing a fabulous song, so the video is more than a simple "I'll show you mine but there's no need for you to show me yours because frankly showing mine is all I really want to do" affair.

Remarkably, though, she's not finished yet!:

Nicola. Flashing your knickers in the middle of the street. Are you sure you're not a Geordie?

Right that's it. Hope that was satisfactory. Comment if it was. I'll love you forever.

Thursday, 28 July 2011

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.

I'm going to talk about celebrities now, and what they have been doing for the past few days. Unfortunately this won't be a particularly uplifting Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup but I promise to try and keep it cheerier than the real news has been the past few days...

1. RIP Amy Winehouse.

Talented, wild, enigmatic, iconic, intelligent, unique; Amy Winehouse was all of those things. Unfortunately, as everyone is now fully aware, she was discovered dead in her flat in her Camden flat on Saturday at just 27 years old.

When I first heard the news on Saturday I was too numb and shocked to really feel anything. Lots of people have remarked that this is the news "we all saw coming" but truthfully there was always something about Amy Winehouse, a sparkle in her eye when she performed, that gave you the impression that no matter what scrapes she got herself into she was smart enough to get herself out OK in the end. I genuinely thought Amy Winehouse was invincible, and clearly she did too. Unfortunately, it turned out this was not the case, and there were some lows that she could not climb her way back up from.

It was only when, presumably like most of the rest of the people in Great Britain, I put on my copy of her album Back To Black on Saturday night that it really sunk in what a talent we'd lost. Back To Black could truthfully not be by any other artist than Amy Winehouse- its frank honesty, witty lyrics and even the way she clearly means every word she's singing (and that's not bullshit "she got hurt isn't it sad" stuff, I mean even when she's singing about how she doesn't need treatment on Rehab or frustrated about someone smoking her weed on Addicted she sounds as affected by it all as the breakdown of her relationship on You Know I'm No Good or Love Is A Losing Game) are all typical of Amy.

There will never be another Amy Winehouse, and the music industry is worse off without her.

Also, she winked at me once. Did I ever tell you that story? Amy Winehouse. Winked. At me. Brilliant.

2. Kelly Osbourne threatens to leave Twitter.

It hasn't been a good couple of days for poor old Kelly Osbourne. She was one of several celebrity attendees of Amy Winehouse's funeral on Tuesday, along with producer Mark Ronson and the singer's parents and brother.

However, while Osbourne mourned the loss of one of her closest friends, her ex-fiancé Luke Worrall was berating her on social networking site Twitter. While Kelly herself famously took to her Twitter a year ago when the couple split up to reveal that Luke had been cheating on her (with both men and women, apparently, the dirty dog), this time it was Luke's turn to get the digs in at Kelly, choosing to "lol" at remarks made about her by others:

OUCH. Needless to say, Kelly did not take these remarks lying down and instead responded in her own furious tweets:

After the whole of Twitter took sides in "Luke vs. Kelly 2.0", Kelly decided enough was enough and between the death of her friend and humiliation from her ex-fiancé, that she was going to pack the site in for a bit:

TOO much evil, Kelly. There is TOO much evil. Let's take a trip down memory lane and remind ourselves of Kelly's finest moment on Twitter...

NAR MAN. It was obviously when she called Dannii Minogue the devil.

SERIOUSLY. Dannii Minogue. The devil. That will never not be funny. Or is it already not funny? I forget.

3. Nicki Minaj does something very naughty in Jamaica.

All these months I've been going "listen to Nicki Minaj, listen to Nicki Minaj, she's brilliant" and I'm going to assume a vast majority of you have gone "pffft I'm not having you tell me what to do, I'm not listening to that shit" and continued to hate her for "ripping off Lady GaGa" or whatever it is that people hate her for when they have no good reason to.

Anyway, I bet every time Where Them Girls At or Super Bass comes on you have a right old bop, don't you? And are you finally starting to get it? I bet you are. So can we finally accept, after all these months, that Nicki Minaj is absolutely amazing? Thank you. Anyway, I'll tell you what it is she's in trouble for.

Basically, she's been fined J$1000 for her performance at a concert in Jamaica which contained both expletives and "obscene" dance moves. I'm not sure how much that is in our own English pounds but I presume it won't exactly have broken the bank for one of the world's biggest rap stars (UPDATE: I have been informed that Nicki Minaj's fine amounted to £7.13. That'll teach her).

This is not exactly a surprise, one of Minaj's signature tunes includes the line "I'm a bad bitch, I'm a cunt" while her set on Lil Wayne's "I Am Music" tour saw her pull someone from the audience to lapdance before perfecting the "helicopter" move with a nearby dildo, a move I myself have been known to attempt when I've had a couple of drinks down me (not really, folks. There is not enough gin in the world for me to get my cock out in a night-club environment) (unless someone fit requests it, obviously) (not that that is every likely to happen) (I can dream though, can't I?) (too many brackets?) (Perhaps).

And that's that, folks.

Thursday, 21 July 2011


The MTV Video Music Awards are notoriously brilliant. They are responsible for some of the biggest moments in celebrity history, and that is not an exaggeration. Without the VMAs, we wouldn't have had this...

...or this...

...or this...

...or this...

...or this...

...or this...

...or even this...

So evidently the VMAs are a big deal. The nominees for this year's ceremony were announced earlier today and immediately this began to trend on Twitter...

Let's find out why, shall we, as we take a look at some of the supposed injustices from this year's MTV Video Music Awards...


Back in the day, Westlife used to be criticised for their live performance where they would all sit down and sulk. They were mocked because the most exciting point of their performances would be when the key changed and they got up off their seats. In the clip for Rolling In The Deep, however, Adele can't even manage that simple task. I'm not going to criticise the song because I think it's an amazing, stirring song and no one can dispute that Adele has one of the best voices (if not the best) in the current music scene.

However, to reward this four-minute nap of a music video with three nominations in this years VMAs is ridiculous, the woman can't even be arsed to stand up for the filming of her own music video, Christ knows how long it'll take to get her to the stage if she wins she's so unaccustomed to walking anywhere.

AND BEFORE YOU ALL START that I'm being unfair to Adele because of her size, all you have to do is watch the video for Beth Ditto's I Wrote The Book to see that you don't need to be a size 6 to make a stunning music video.


Fans of Rihanna are up-in-arms about a total lack of their idol's presence on the list of nominations, apart from her collaboration with Kanye West All Of The Lights which truthfully she would be completely forgotten about in were it not for her fantastic breasts. She's also been nominated in the Best Male Video category for Love The Way You Lie, though I doubt taking home an award for "Best Male" is really going to be much consolation for our RiRi.

Members of the Rihanna Navy are complaining that since the last VMAs Rihanna has released some of the most memorable music videos around. While I'm not sure Only Girl (In The World) and What's My Name are really worthy of being award-winning, despite their loveliness, I'm surprised not to see her efforts from 2011 Man Down and in particular S&M which- apart from being one of the most controversial music videos of the year- is also completely stunning regardless of its controversial nature.

Her outfits in it are memorable and iconic (the "censored" crop top, the all-in-one latex thing she wears while eating the pink popcorn, the classic "lady" outfit she has on while she walks Perez Hilton around on a leash), and it has a poignant message in it about the almost sadistic relationship between celebrities and the paparazzi.

However, the video's overall direction and colour scheme were criticised by David LaChapelle for being a ripoff of his work. I strongly suspect that S&M's absence from the nominations could have something to do with MTV having some class of loyalty to LaChapelle, whose own videos for artists like Christina Aguilera, No Doubt and Avril Lavigne have all been VMA nominees in the past.

Either that or MTV are just adamant that the "Best Female Video" award should go to a video of someone sitting in a chair and pulling faces.


Remember when Judas first came out I was falling over myself telling anyone who would listen that after the absolute heap of shite that the Alejandro and Born This Way videos grimly turned out to be that Lady GaGa was back making proper, brilliant music videos? Well I stand by that, and I still maintain that Judas is one of the best music videos of the year. It's well thought-out, it's intelligently done, the choreography is great, the costumes are great and the woman even directed it herself!

Little monsters (and me) were therefore greatly unhappy to see that Judas only appears on the "professional" categories. The Judas video really is how it should be done, and the thought of Adele waddling home with the "Best Female Video" award for a video where she sat in a chair and whinged on in place of GaGa whose video had a story arc, a dance routine, symbolism and, most importantly of all, CATHOLIC SHITE then I will not be a happy man at all.


I'm sorry, folks, but I'm going to have to be unpleasant about Britney Spears again. Me and Britney are on good terms now, despite her choosing to come to Newcastle on the day my school holidays end and I have to go back to Nantes. However, her video Till The World Ends has been nominated for a few awards and I just don't think it should have been.

For one thing, Britney has never looked so out-of-it in one of her videos as she does in Till The World Ends. She looks more responsive in the clips for Gimme More and Piece Of Me, and she was going through some pretty turbulent times when those were being filmed. Minus points for lack of enthusiasm.

Britney was determined to prove that Till The World Ends would be the video where she really proved that she was still capable in the dance stakes and she quite simply didn't. The choreography was OK, but it was by no means anything mind-blowing, and during her MTV documentary I Am The Femme Fatale she revealed that for any shots where her feet weren't featured she wore her Uggs. SHE WORE. HER. UGGS. Do you think Madonna has ever worn her Uggs for choreography before? I do not. And she's got a good 20 years on Britney.

My other quarrel is the fact that, if rumours are to be believed, Britney used a body-double for a lot of the choreography meaning that the only award the video should really be eligible for is "Best Special Effects". I've said this before and I know it might seem a bit hypocritical since this is the type of music I support frequently, but if the vocals are all AutoTuned and the dancing is done by a double then exactly what about this song makes it Britney's?

The same thing stands for the video. If you ask me, the fact this video crops up a few times on the nominations list is a bit of a slap in the face to other more hard-working artists BUT STILL AT LEAST SHE DIDN'T SPEND THE ENTIRE VIDEO SITTING IN A BLOODY CHAIR LIKE SOME OF THE NOMINEES I COULD MENTION.


Someone, somewhere should have won an award for these amazing special effects:

IT'S LIKE SHE'S REALLY IN THAT CALENDAR. Thankfully, some justice has been done, as Katy Perry's Last Friday Night, which features a cameo from Rebecca, has been nominated for "Best Pop Video" which, along with Nicki Minaj's nominations for the amazing Super Bass in the "Best Female Video" and "Best Hip-Hop Video" categories are the greatest justices of the night.

You can vote for your favourites here. If I hear any of you voted for Adele sitting on her arse I will come after you.

Monday, 18 July 2011

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.

Well for anyone who tuned in for my stint on FM radio station Pride Radio, thanks very much. Our four-week run on the radio has now come to an end, but I'm very proud to have been a part of the whole thing and I think everyone's done an incredible job. We'll be continuing to broadcast live online at, so make sure you keep listening to that if you enjoyed it. Meanwhile, celebrities all over the land have been doing things and I'm sure they're just dying for me to take the piss out of them, so let's dive right in for yet another Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup....

1. Katie Price certainly knows how to pick 'em.

You can say what you want about Katie Price but she certainly knows how to keep her lovelife interesting. First she gets pregnant to a footballer, they break up mid-pregnancy before she takes the virginity of Pop Idol contestant Gareth Gates and has Dane Bowers's big toe shoved up her twat before going on I'm A Celebrity and marrying a failed Australian popstar she met on there.

After making the worst album in the history of popular music together, the two then split which prompts Katie to start dating cross-dressing cage-fighter Alex Reid before dumping him on the same reality show she met Peter Andre. It then turns out Alex is more popular with the public than she first anticipated, so it's off to Vegas with them for a quickie wedding and an even more quickie divorce amid rumours Alex is infertile. That takes us up the present, where Katie is dating much younger model Leandro Penna who can barely string a sentence together in English, and little else is known about him.

That is, until yesterday, when Leandro let the cat out of the bag (or should that be pussy out of the bag in the case of Katie Price?) (or toe out of the pussy?) that he is actually not above being publicly homophobic, despite Katie's tedious drivel about "loving the gays blah blah blah zzzzzz".

You see, yesterday Katie took to her Twitter to publicly bash her ex-husband (the second one) due to stories he has apparently been selling about her (not sure exactly which stories she's referring to but whatever)...

Now here's the thing, I geninely like Alex Reid and think he was probably taken for a ride by Katie Price. I'm not saying he was completely innocent in all of it, if he wasn't interested in fame he wouldn't have been on Celebrity Big Brother in the first place, but I can't help but feel he had no desire to be known as "Mr. Katie Price", especially given he was already fairly successful in his own right with his cage-fighting. During both Celebrity Big Brother and his short-lived reality show on Living, Alex refused to discuss Katie or even mention her explicitly by name which aren't exactly the acts of a man content to ride on his wife's coat-tails are they?

The other thing that always made me uncomfortable with the Katie/Alex relationship was the way the two handled Alex's supposed alter-ego "Roxanne" so differently. Alex always seemed to squirm whenever his cross-dressing (which he's said he only ever did for a laugh) was mentioned, while Katie relished talking about it, even when Alex wasn't present. It seemed to me it was always Katie forcing Alex to play up to his wild, cross-dressing side- even going as far as to force him to dress up as her for one of her book launches- when it seemed that wasn't what Alex wanted to be associated with.

Now as for Leandro Penna, I can only say the man is clearly a total douche-bag unashamedly using Katie for publicity in much the same way I imagine Jesus Luz was using Madonna after she split up with Guy Ritchie. In what is probably the first independent thing he's done since he met Katie, he decided to echo her thoughts on Alex on his own Twitter page, which is usually written in Spanish. The only problem is that by doing so he revealed himself as a stonking big homophobe, calling Alex a "gay freak"...

Excellent stuff. The offending tweets have since been deleted without explanation, or apology, and I think it'll be interesting to see how Katie handles this mess. Oh wait, she already is handling it...

She's doing what she's always done-- PRETENDING IT NEVER HAPPENED!

What a role model.

2. Imogen Thomas has been given a job.

Speaking of slags who are famous for no reason (sorry, folks, but I have no time or sympathy for people like Imogen Thomas who play the "oh poor old me I slept with a married man and now everyone hates me for trying to cash in on it" card) Imogen Thomas has got a new job in what must have been a real role reversal for the ex-Big Brother star who is mostly used to giving jobs rather than getting them.

As part of the new charity organisation Screw A Married Man And Get On The Telly, you can now wake up with Imogen Thomas (as countless married men have in the past) on This Morning where she will be giving her unique style and beauty tips in a series of outside broadcasts across beaches in the UK over the summer.

1. Imogen will have to keep her legs together in case any children try and make a sandcastle with her bucket-fanny.
2. Imogen will not need to go in the water to check out the sea-life as she will be bringing her own crabs.
3. Anyone who fancies a kick-around on the sand may want to think twice in case Imogen spies a wedding ring and immediately pounces on them, before shouting her story from the roof-tops and demanding sympathy from everyone.

That was not as funny as I'd hoped.

3. There is every need for this to exist, yessir there is.

Can I just say before I begin this that I am proper chewed up over Imogen shitting Thomas AND Leoandro shitting Penna so you'll have to forgive me if what I say is overtly venomous towards Kimberley Walsh who has really done nothing wrong to anyone and is probably a lovely person.

Basically my feelings on Kimberley Walsh are pretty obvious if you read my blog or my Tweets regularly. I've not been her biggest supporter in the past, but that's only because everything she does is completely shit. To quote the great Diana Vickers she is "a Midas in reverse".

Until very recently, apart from being a guest vocalist on that shitty Aggros Santos song, Kimberley was the only member of Girls Aloud to have never done any completely solo material. Unfortunately, that was all to change with the debut of her single Everybody Dance a cover of the Chic disco classic in support of the film she's starring in which will no doubt haemorrhage money for those involved in its production and taint the careers of all those who star in it simply because Kimberley has put her stamp on it. And let me tell you, folks. The song is not good. "How not good?" I hear you ask. This not good:

Sweet merciful Christ. This is the woman who contributed 20% of the vocals to Sexy! No, No No..., The Loving Kind and Whole Lotta History-- how can she possibly think that this is acceptable? It's times like this the Girls Aloud re-union has never felt so necessary, or as disappointingly unlikely to ever come to fruition...

Right that's it, I'm going to go and kick a puppy.

Friday, 15 July 2011

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.

Getting back into the swing of blogging was just what I needed, especially since those crazy celebrities are still running around doing things right, left and centre that are just crying out for me to take the piss out of. Buckle up, folks, it's going to be a bumpy ride for another Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup...

1. Cher Lloyd is not the most popular woman in the world.

You may recall that during the turbulent time the world called X Factor 2010 (remember John Adeleye? Of course you don't) I was a massive cheerleader for a plucky young girl named Cher Lloyd. Her enthusiasm and fearlessness was very impressive at the time, and I thoroughly looked forward to hearing her original music when I learned that she, along with finalists Matt Cardle and One Direction had been signed to Simon Cowell's record label.

Well, a few weeks ago her single Swagger Jagger was unleashed onto the general public and like the rest of the world I was a bit perplexed by it. One thing was for certain, and that was that Swagger Jagger was going to split people's opinions right down the middle.

It seems that's exactly what's happened, with Lily Allen taking to her Twitter account to say she "quite likes" the song ("quite likes" is not exactly "loves", though, is it Lily?) while Tom Parker from The Wanted (who I already believed to be a giant prick) has described the song as being "like a nursery rhyme" and that Cher herself is a "furious" young lady.

If you haven't heard the song or seen the video for it (the song itself makes a lot more sense with the video, and kind of gets a bit better with each listen in my opinion) then you are a lucky duck because it is RIGHT HERE:

So far more than 30,000 people have liked the video on YouTube which is great news for Cher, that is until you consider the fact that at the other end of the scale there are almost 80,000 dislikes. Ouch.

Either way, no matter what you think of her, it looks like Cher Lloyd isn't going anywhere for a while...

2. Rihanna, unlike Cher Lloyd, is very popular indeed.

Someone who's getting a lot of "likes" these days is Rihanna who has become the most popular recording artist on Facebook with over 40 million fans on her page.

However, she'd be wise to halt the public celebrations as in order to do so she has had to commit the ultimate sin and overtake Lady GaGa by 20,000 "likes". What will the little monsters say?? LET'S FIND OUT SHALL WE:

Truly frightening.

Meanwhile, in terms of Twitter followers and YouTube views, GaGa continues to reign over competition from the likes of RiRi and Justin Bieber. So monsters can rest easy. FOR NOW.

3. Someone else named Cher has done a thing.

So we all know that Lady GaGa has all these demo recordings scattered all over the Internet that little monsters the world over like to pretend they are special for having uncovered even though all you have to do is type "Lady GaGa demo" into YouTube to find them. As time has plodded along, other artists have taken to recording GaGa's cast-offs. Adam Lambert recorded Fever, Britney Spears recorded Quicksand and now it's Cher's turn.

The megastar is currently working with producer RedOne (who recently got turned down for a recording session with Queen of Pop Madonna) when it was suggested she record the GaGa-penned song The Greatest Thing. Cher revealed this on her Twitter page, where she also insisted the song was not a duet.

Lady GaGa then frustrated me immensely by posting THIS on her own page:

I had my usual "WE 'THE GAYS' ARE NOT INFANTS WHO NEED TO BE CONSTANTLY ENTERTAINED" but actually listening to the song (which I hadn't when I made my hasty judgement") I think it would be inspiring for "the gays" to hear icons across two generations uniting to sing what is actually a really lovely song to them/us. I know the world isn't exactly in need of another "it's good to be yourself" anthem, but as long as there are teenagers there will be misfit teenagers and they are the ones we really need to think about when we're slamming the "obviousness" of songs such as Born This Way and, in this case, The Greatest Thing.

Here's GaGa's demo version of the song; I think GaGa and Cher sharing (or Cher-ing HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA etc.) the vocals of this song would be lovely and the message would be very inspiring. Then again I am quite simple:

The question is, will it be as amazing as this worlds-colliding duet..?

The answer is: probably.

Right that's that then.