Wednesday, 13 April 2011

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.

It was my birthday on Saturday, so thank you very much for giving me all of those lovely birthday messages. Basically, I've been a bit apprehensive to post another blog since my last one proved quite popular with Adam Lambert fans, and actually managed to get me like ten times the amount of readers I normally get just from Adam Lambert fans spreading it amongst themselves. However, my head has since gone down to its normal size and it is time to get back into the swing of blogging. If Adam Lambert is mentioned more frequently than normal you know why. Let's get the ball rolling for another Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup...

1. It's Britney, bitch. And I'm sticking my oar in where it's not really wanted.


The legend goes that many years ago Britney Spears was preparing to perform alongside Madonna and Christina Aguilera at the VMA awards, when Britney decided to play Madonna a song off her newest album In The Zone. The song was called Me Against The Music, and she wanted to know if Madonna thought she should release it as lead single from the album.

The next time she saw Madonna, she had written a verse for it, and told Britney she wanted to record it as a duet. This was during an unfortunate slump in Madonna's career (she'd just released American Life, you see), but because Britney is not the most articulate of women, she found herself unable to say no to the Queen of Pop, which is apparently how Me Against The Music (feat. Madonna) was born.

On a related note, you know that song by Rihanna where she goes "na na na, come on" and then goes on to discuss how she enjoys being violated in the bedroom and putting spunk on her heat spots as a perfume because she loves the smell of it? I believe it is called S&M. If you are sat there going "I have never heard this song" then you really should have been out on the Newcastle gay scene this Saturday for my birthday because it was on at least twice in every fucking bar we stepped in. By the end of the night I was fearful I'd be speaking the lyrics in my sleep.

Well it seems Britney is taking a leaf out of her mentor's book and has showed up uninvited on someone else's song, in this case a remix of Rihanna's S&M, which has fans of the two stars divided. Some think it's a great remix, others are less than convinced by Britney's contributions. Personally I don't see why two stars with such high profiles couldn't record a completely new song rather than a new version of a song which is slowly disappearing out of the charts. If you would like to hear it for yourself then here it is:



Britney is clearly getting cleverer though, I was very surprised to hear her singing the "S S S & M M M" bit and not spelling it wrong. Good for her. She'll have those kids back in no time at this rate.

The duet was first alluded to on Twitter, earlier this week, when RiRi tweeted this:


Twitter was quickly abuzz, which prompted Britney to post this:


Then Rihanna put this on her Twitter:


And Britney replied with this:


Then Kelly Osbourne said this:


Then Adam Lambert added:


DO YOU STILL LOVE ME, ADAM LAMBERT FANS?? DO YOU?????

2. Things aren't getting any better for Joe McElderry.


Things were rocky from the offset for poor old Joe McElderry, weren't they, so it's difficult to pinpoint exactly where it all started to go wrong. It could have been Olly Murs storming the top 1o while his own second single didn't even make the top 40. It could have been someone "hacking his Twitter" to come out of the closet, only to do it himself a few weeks later. It could have been that Facebook campaign set up to keep his debut single from the Christmas number 1 spot. Personally, I think it all went wrong for him at that party he went to where me and Kate performed Oops!.. I Did It Again in what can only be described as a true karaoke faux pas. He was never the same after witnessing that debacle.

However, it was another low-point for Joe this week as, at an outdoor music festival in the UK, he performed as support act for fellow X Factor alumni Jedward. Just to quickly jog your memory, both these acts were contestants on the same series of The X Factor, Jedward finished in sixth place in the competition while Joe went on to gain the love of the British public and win it. Clearly, though, this was short-lived as he's now the opening act for a pair of twins Simon Cowell once described as "vile creatures". And he'd know.

Bizarrely, the good news keeps on coming for Jedward. As well as sales from their tours and album (don't listen to this bit, Joe), the twins have been busy as the face of Nintendo DS and now cereal Coco Pops, earning them an estimated £3million in the past year. Did anyone think when they were running around the stage performing Rock DJ on the telly that they'd be millionaires in a few years? Here they are with their tops off:


3. Lady GaGa has been hard at work (that makes a change).


It's just six short days until Lady GaGa debuts her new single Judas, which is tipped to be a massive hit, and despite the fact little is known about the song or video GaGa is already in trouble with religious groups who claim the video is blasphemous.

Apparently the video will see GaGa re-telling the story of the Bible in her own way, with various actors taking on roles such as Judas Iscariot, while GaGa herself will be playing Mary Magdalene (rumour has it Dannii Minogue will be making a cameo as the devil, as requested by Kelly Osbourne). However, her decision to premier the track so close to when Catholics are celebrating Holy Week has led some Christian organisations to accuse GaGa of exploiting the church for publicity.

Meanwhile, she revealed that she has designed the artwork for the single herself on Microsoft Word, also using her mobile phone to give it a more textured look. Don't ask how I got it, but this is an exclusive first-look at the Judas artwork, created in Microsoft Word and then photographed on a mobile phone to give it "texture":


Dunno about you, but I think GaGa could do with cleaning her laptop screen.

As if all this business with her new single wasn't exciting enough, Lady GaGa has bagged herself an unlikely fan in the form of country singer Dolly Parton. Having already collaborated in both studio and stage with acts such as Beyoncé, Elton John and Adam Lambert (I MENTIONED HIM AGAIN DO YOU STILL LOVE ME, LAMBERT FANS???????), Dolly was apparently such a fan of the country version of Born This Way that GaGa put online a few weeks ago that she'd be interested in collaborating with her in the future. Can you imagine anything more camp in your entire life? You'd not be able to look directly at them for fear of being blinded by all the sequins.

Laters!
x

7 comments:

  1. Laughed so many times during this post! Excellent :)

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  2. Love this, really cheered me up after a crappy day! :)

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  3. Obviously I love the Britney remix but I agree that they should have recorded a new song.
    Poor Joe!
    I'm pretty excited for Eurovision as always but more excited this year because Jedward are going to be there, hopefully with their tops off x

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  4. Gem! I didn't realise you were after some of the Jedward lads as well!! This has put you in a whole new light :p

    xx

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