Thursday, 10 March 2011

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.

I am reluctant to post another blog because I am so currently engrossed in the very serious campaign I have engrossed myself in, and posting another blog will mean it is no longer the stop story on my page, so make sure you get a read of that before enjoying this AMAZING Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup. Actually for all I know it might not be amazing, it might in fact be a right heap of rubbish, I haven't written it yet. We'll see, shall we? Yes we shall.

1. Cliff Richard is ready to take on an unexpected duet.

Heterosexual singing sensation Cliff Richard has a brand new album of duets coming out very soon. Needless to say I will be braying on the doors of HMV when it is finally released. What is your favourite Cliff Richard song? This is mine:

Definitely one for my coveted "Arms In The Air" playlist. Pass the poppers, eh?

Nar but seriously though, in an interview the other day to promote his upcoming release, (I am literally still listening to The Millenium Prayer, if you're interested) he listed a list (listed a list??? Really? I'm not even going to delete that I'm going to leave it there and show you how ridiculous I am sometimes) of current musicians he's a fan of, including Adele (yawn) and Leona Lewis (double yawn)-- what are the chances our Cliff would be a fan of such edgy, young singers??

However, he said one current star he'd be more than willing to duet with would be Lady GaGa but Cliff adds: "only if she doesn't wear any of those hats". Jesus, what a diva, eh? Stopping Lady GaGa from wearing her hats like he owns the place.

Lady GaGa has more or less turned him down flat though ("surprise, surprise" to quote Cliff's best mate Cilla Black) claiming that there will be no duets on her newest album Born This Way because she's already worked with her "favourite female in the music industry." That may be true, GaGa, but you haven't worked with Cliff yet and he is neither male nor female, instead he is smooth in his tender area like a Ken doll.

And now for your viewing pleasure, here is 70-year-old Cliff on the beach:

Expect Cliff's cover of S&M by Rihanna- no doubt featuring a guest rap from Nicki Minaj- on the Radio One Live Lounge soon.

2. Chris Brown has been very naughty indeed.

Chris Brown was set to be fuming this week after one of the tracks from his upcoming album F.A.M.E. leaked online. The song, entitled Next 2 You, sees the R&B singer swapping lines with Justin Bieber, who is usually found gluing himself to Rihanna at any event he can, so I must admit I think this is something of a hypocritical move for him considering that Chris Brown proper smashed Rihanna's face in, but- if we're being honest- he's only a kid and most probably had no choice in the matter.

Speaking of Bieber, he took to his Twitter this week to announce that he was giving up shaving so that his fans could check out his "moustache". Personally, I think this is a bit of a surprising move as I didn't realise El Biebero even had enough testosterone to grow eyebrows let alone any other facial hair, but that just shows how much I know, doesn't it?

Unfortunately for Chris Brown, his duet with Justin Bieber wasn't the only thing leaking online this week. It seems he'd pulled something of a Frankmusik/Ashley Cole and decided to send someone a mucky photo of himself, forgetting that he is one of the most famous people in the world. Naturally, the photo has since surfaced online and it is something to be seen. OBVIOUSLY I LIKE TO KEEP THIS BLOG FAMILY FRIENDLY so I will try and tastefully edit it to remove any nudity:

If that hasn't whet your appetite, you can look at the (NSFW) uncensored photo here. Did you look? Did you??? WHAT A GIGANTIC COCK!!!!!!!! Eeeeh my god. No preparing for that, is there? It could have your eye out. Mind you, that might be impressive, but I've got something even hotter:

Oh yeah.

3. Who's bed have Calvin Harris's "boots" been under...?

He might have said his singing days are behind him, but that doesn't mean Calvin Harris has to kiss goodbye to the limelight. Quite the opposite as, in preparation for supporting Katy Perry on her California Dreams tour, he's currently touring with Rihanna on her Last Girl On Earth tour.

However, it's neither Katy nor RiRi but a different pop princess who's caught Calvin's eye. Reports suggest that during Rihanna's show last night Calvin was seen in the audience after his spot canoodling with none other than Princess Ke$ha! I kid you not! Reports suggest that the two were "all over each other", and even left before the end of the concert.

Now let me tell you, I have seen the Last Girl On Earth tour and there's no way you'd catch me leaving before the end-- you'd miss Umbrella for fuck's sake. And there's definitely no way I'd leave if it meant I'd be spending the rest of the night getting off with a lass who brushed her teeth with whisky, only to end up holding her hair back while she chucked up in the street.

Apparently the unlikely pair first got close when she supported him on his most recent UK tour, and when Ke$ha heard he was playing as Rihanna's support act she had to have a "catch up".

No offence Ke$ha, but why waste your time with Calvin Harris when studs like this are on the market...?

That's right, three times in one blog. Consider this a substitute for this week's Fittie Of The Week, yeah?

Right I'm done.


  1. I must show this blog to Nana Maureen, she's a huge Cliff fan.... Probably won't have heard of anyone else mentioned in it, but will definitely appreciate the Cliff pics....

  2. Dear sweet lord, Chris Brown D: THE HORROR!! I am rather terrified of big penises, I much prefer little humble ones.

    And I never thought I'd say this but boy Cliff is buff. And I wish Gaga had done a duet with him.
    Speaking of, has her lack of humour about the breastmilk ice cream made it onto your blog?

  3. I must admit if someone made a breast milk ice cream and tried to include me in it I wouldn't be best pleased.

    And as for Cliff, yes, he is indeed surprisingly buff.