Friday, 18 March 2011

Get down on Friday.

In case you haven't seen Rebecca Black's Friday video yet, I have a special treat for you. In honour of the fact that today is, indeed, Friday I thought I'd do a bit of a deep analysis of the video, just in case you're not one of the 14 million views on the video's YouTube page (you've got to feel bad for Nadine Coyle at times like this, haven't you? No? Whatever...)

Ooooooh ooooh ooooh yeah yeah

So it all kicks off with us going through Rebecca Black's calendar, where we get to see the various things she's got planned for the week. A bit invasive, if you ask me, but thankfully there's nothing too embarrassing written in there. Turning the page and seeing "period due today" just wouldn't be a good start to the video, would it?

7am wake up in the morning

This is our first introduction to Rebecca in the video. She sits up and this is what greets us. I'll be honest the first time I saw this I thought "Christ she looks like she's had a good shag", but I've since found out that she's only 13 and therefore this would be ILLEGAL.

Gotta get down to the bus stop

Next time we see Rebecca she's waiting for the bus. Thankfully she's ran a brush through that hair, which was obviously not brought about by a good shag because SHE IS A MINOR.

I see my friends

At this point in the video, Rebecca Black's friends pull up in a car, though it is appallingly obvious to me based on the face she is pulling that she is actually thinking "I fucking hate these twats". She probably wasn't even planning to go to school in the first place, her hair all done nice, she was probably going to skive so she could meet up with the 30-year-old she met on Facebook. OBVIOUSLY IT'S A GOOD JOB HER SHITTY FRIENDS SHOWED UP REALLY, THEN, ISN'T IT?

Kickin' in the front seat, sittin' in the back seat

A lot of people take the piss out of this part of the video, because Rebecca can't decide whether to sit in the front or the back, but have you seen the freaks she has to choose between? I imagine it's like choosing whether to sit next to Rose West or Hitler on the bus. No wonder she was gutted when they showed up, she probably wants nought to do with losers like them. Look at the way him in the back is beckoning her to the car, he's definitely after some of the goods. If it were my decision I'd choose the front, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near him.

Gotta get down on Friday

As you can see, she eventually chooses the back seat, but as it turns out that was probably the right decision because this daft bitch here starts dangling her arm out the window and making a sort of "wave" effect, and I wouldn't anyone to think I was friends with someone who would do that sort of thing. What a dick.

Partying partying

As if that wasn't bad enough, her mate in the back starts SPANKING THE CAR, presumably as a means of enticing Rebecca.


BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL FOR FUCKS SAKE. He wants to be more careful, that lass next to him is dangling her arm out the side of the car, the last thing he needs is to crash into another vehicle, she'd end up with a mere stump. THAT WOULD RUIN REBECCA'S FRIDAY, although presumably by 7.45 she'd be out and over it.

7.45 we're driving on the highway, cruisin' so fast

She wants to put her seatbelt on if you ask me, or she'll end up going the same way as Lady Di. I'll tell you what though, she's got new friends in this verse and doesn't she look much happier? I bet she literally just ditched them losers as soon as she got to school and went for a smoke in the toilets with these lasses. Cleverly, Rebecca is prettier than all of her friends, which means she is certain to be the one who gets laid first. NOT FOR A GOOD FEW YEARS THOUGH BECAUSE SHE IS A CHILD.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend weekend

She's got where she needs to be, she's wearing her shortest skirt and she's eyeing up the talent. Good for you, Rebecca, you're a Geordie lass at heart.

Partying partying


We we we so excited

Maybe if she'd spent a bit more time in the classroom and a bit less time shagging anything that moved (joking SHE'S A CHILD REMEMBER???) she'd have learned the conjugation of the verb "to be" now. Idiot.

Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards

Oh good, so they are teaching something in these schools. I think the real charm of Friday is that the reason Rebecca Black likes Friday so much is because it's almost Saturday-- can you imagine what she's actually like when Saturday comes around. HIDE THE PRO PLUS IN THE BLACK HOUSEHOLD, THAT'S ALL I'LL SAY.

RB Rebecca Black

They should have got Nicki Minaj.

It's Friday

Rebecca has had too much blue WKD, that lad she met earlier has fingered her and gone home and her friends are nowhere to be seen, so she's now up on the table doing a performance for everyone. They are egging her on, but you just know come Monday she'll be talk of the whole school :(


She's at that stage of drunkenness now where she thinks she is a brilliant singer. Kate once sang Listen in the smoking bit of Liquid when we were about 17 and it was one of the best moments of my life.

Partying partying YEAH!

Some people say the "fun fun fun" line sounds insincere but if that is not an expression of pure joy then I don't know what is (not that I would know what pure joy is, of course, my life being a cesspit of absolute MISERY).

And so, Happy Friday one and all. I hope you have lots of fun. Fun. Fun.


  1. This was amazing. You forgot to mention that she looks like me though :(

  2. Rebecca is all well and good, but she can't compare to Jenna Rose and her jeans:

  3. Nothing compares to Rebecca, let's be honest.