Tuesday, 25 January 2011

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.

I had an exam this morning. Reporting Central Government. Reading this blog, you may be able to pick up on the fact that I am not very immersed in political goings-on, which is not something I'm proud of. I do genuinely try and take an interest in politics but if truth be told I just find it all a bit hard to pay attention to and take in. Which is unfortunate, seeing as how I've just had an exam in it. Ouch. So anyway, I've got an hour to kill before my next seminar, so I'm going to sit right here in Murray Library, listen to Pink Friday and tell you what's going on chez les célébrités dans un autre Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup...

1. Christopher Ciccone thinks Madonna is "creepy".

You may not have heard of Christopher Ciccone, and if you have then chances are you know him quite simply as the brother of Madonna. He is one of those celebrity hangers-on who played the smallest role in her success and therefore believes he should be famous as well. So he acts like a celebrity, even though in fact he's nothing but a massive, massive douche-bag.

Despite claiming that he wants to be successful in his own right, it seems that Christopher can't keep his poisonous mouth shut when it comes to his goddess sister, even going as far to write a tell-all book Life With My Sister Madonna, a poorly-written guide to Madonna's rise to the top which also channels an almighty falling-out between the two of them. Here is what the book tells us about why they no longer speak:

1. Madonna grew concerned with the amount of cocaine Christopher seemed to be taking at celebrity parties, and told him she would not be able to keep him in her life unless he sought help. Christopher took this as an attempt to control him and rebelled by taking double as much.
2. Christopher decorated Madonna's house and she didn't like it, so he sent her an email calling her a venomous bitch.
3. Christopher's obsession with Madonna has ruined every relationship he's ever had.
4. Christopher Ciccone is a bitter, nasty little man who can't accept the fact that the reason his sister is successful and he is not is because she worked hard and compromised to get where she is, whereas he relied solely on support from his famous sister.

Anyway, Christopher was in the news yesterday after describing his sister's two recent relationships with men much younger than herself as "creepy". He also went on to lament that Madonna refuses to let him see her children, which I think is fair enough as he'd probably try and turn them against their mother, ply Lourdes with cocaine the second she turned 16 and then stick to her like glue while she had her 15 minutes in the spotlight.

You know what I think's creepy, Chris? People who live entirely through their famous relatives. Get a life you loser.

2. No surprises here, folks- Nicki Minaj has not even met Cheryl Cole.

How the fuck does anyone write a blog on Windows? As soon as you upload a picture it puts an extra line in between your paragraphs, and you can't move the pictures down from the top of the page to where you want them without fannying about, copy and pasting it in the HTML which I don't understand because computer langauge and that is proper lost on me and gives me a headache. How frustrating!!

So anyway, right, Nicki Minaj's grand tour of London has come to and end, but she was given an extra day to tour the capital, telling her French fans that she wasn't going to Paris yet and it was "a long story". Probably some cockup wtih Easyjet I would imagine. It did mean she got to see all the sights London has to offer and frollick around the city like something out of Mary Poppins, led by the unlikely tourguide of Tim Westwood...

While in London, Nicki gave an interview where she revealed that, despite appearing in the video for her single Check It Out with will.i.am, she hasn't actually met Cheryl Cole. No surprises there, Cheryl's backing vocals on the song weren't so much "phoned in" as "scrawled on a post-it on a cigarette break in the adverts of The X Factor". Nicki went on to say that Cheryl seemed like she would love to meet Cheryl in the future as she seems like an endearing and "bubbly" character.

In case you were wondering, I still love Nicki Minaj, and performed several of her raps from Check It Out and Roman's Revenge while waiting to get into my exam earlier today. So there you go.

3. There are some new videos coming out and they look quite good.

The Britney Spears comeback is officially in full-swing, as people are starting to really sink their teeth into her 7/10 new single Hold It Against Me, which is sitting comfortable at number 6 in the UK charts, which isn't bad considering it's had no promotion and so far no music video.

Having said that, as we speak Britney is recording the video with Jonas Akerlund, famous for Lady GaGa's Telephone video, as well as collaborations with Madonna and Christina Aguilera. She's also working with X Factor choreographer and massive homosexual Brian Friedman who claims that Britney "freaked out" the first time he showed her the dance routine, but then that lass is so mental she'd have a "freakout" about anything, wouldn't she?

As is the norm with celebrities these days, Britney gave fans an exclusive look at the video following her first day of shooting by posting this video still on her Twitter page:

I'm excited to see that, for the first time in a while, her manky weave isn't a complete distraction. And doesn't that ring of microphones look exciting? Saying that, mind you, the first time I saw stills from the 3 video I thought that was going to be immense and look at what a hot mess that turned out to be.

Speaking of pop princesses with upcoming videos, my favourite living human Rihanna has a new song coming out soon called S&M. I played it on the Pride show on Sunday and nearly gave poor Tony a heart attack as I said "I LOVE THIS SONG IT IS SO RUDE". Thankfully, it is not so rude that it cannot be broadcast in the middle of the day, which is a relief as it means I have not yet been sacked from Pride. So anyway, some photos from that video have also been making the rounds and they are pretty spectacular:

FUCKING HELL. She is perfection. And look, they're real articles and quotes floating around her. AND ONE OF THEM IS ABOUT THE ILLUMINATI RUMOURS. She's finally addressing them! Or at the very least, acknowledging them.

Two videos from two of my favourite popstars I absolutely can not wait for.

And that's it for another Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.
Thank fuck for that this computer is driving me wild. I have forgotten how Windows works and am ready to hit someone, the stress of it all.

1 comment:

  1. I always write my blogs on Windows but I must say it is needlessly complicated innit? If I didn't have my impressive B at ICT AS Level I'd have no clue.
    Good blog obv (but when is it ever not?)
    You will do fine in your exam

    x x x