Wednesday, 24 November 2010

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.

It bloody snowed today. And so it begins. "Snow" is going to be trending on Twitter for the next thousand years. No one is going to be able to go "bit cold in here, isn't it?" without being bombarded by in-depth weather reports from numerous sources. Obnoxious people are going to be updating their Facebook statuses to tell the world they're putting their (wellington) boots on and, baby, getting to work, work.

Personally, I frigging hate the snow and everything else about Winter. It's slippy and there's all that slush on the ground for hateful teenagers of Sunderland to kick at you when you're on your way to another miserable day at Uni. Thankfully, I have my beloved celebrities to keep me warm, and here's some now in the Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup...

1. Something fishy's going on at Camp Jackson. (Digital Spy)

Breaking News, the teaser track from the latest upcoming Michael Jackson album, was released to YouTube a few weeks ago now, and Twitter was a-flutter with people saying it wasn't the real deal. Despite coming from Jackson's official label, people were still speculative the singer on the track was actually an impostor and the whole thing was an attempt to cash in on his death. Decide for yourself here:

Quite morbid really, him singing about writing his obituary and everyone tuning into the news to see Michael Jackson. My cynical side thinks that the lyrics are a bit too co-incidental for it to really be him. That and the effect even his sister LaToya Jackson and mother Katherine Jackson have issued statements claiming they don't believe it's Jackson on the track.

To add insult to injury Ricky Galliano, a Jackson impersonator, has come forward and said he was paid £1700 per song to record vocals for what he was told by Sony (Jackson's former record label, who will be releasing his first post-humous album Michael) was a tribute album to the popstar, who died in 2009.

Sony, of course, are saying he's chatting absolute shite, and insisting it's all Michael Jackson on his upcoming album. Meanwhile Akon and Teddy Riley, two of the producers on the upcoming Michael album, are also insisting it's Michael Jackson singing on tracks Breaking News and Hold My Hand both think that the popstar is still alive and is, in fact, in hiding somewhere. I don't know if this helps matters at all, but my mam also thinks he's still alive. Think of that what you will.

2. The Waissels are disgusted at their prossie nana. (3am)

When I first heard the allegations that The X Factor's Katie Waissel's 80-year-old grandmother who had been acting as a prostitute I decided to take it with a pinch of salt until it was confirmed by Waissel herself. What I'd guessed had happened was that in her youth, Sheila Vogel (the grandmother in question) had at one time slept with a rich man and the story had spiralled from there. However, this is not the case. It turns out her gran is a prostitute even as we speak, advertising herself on the (amazing) website under a pseudonym.

How embarrassing for Katie though. For the first time in Christ knows how long she wasn't in the bottom two this week, only for her grandmother's shameful secret to come out in the open. The Waissels released a statement today saying:

"We were completely shocked and devastated to hear of the news that my grandmother, Sheila Vogel, has been conducting immoral activities, including prostitution and pornography. We, as a family, disassociate ourselves wholly from these activities and from any future stories that arise from them. There will be no further comment."

Christ knows how this will impact Katie's future in the competition, which is already hanging by a thread. We'll see on Sunday, won't we, where there'll apparently be a double elimination which is unsurprising because there's only a few weeks left until the final and still a hundred people left in the contest.

3. Geordies are releasing water-themed music videos left, right and center (no, that's nothing to do with water-sports, Sheila Vogel). (We Are Pop Slags)

I don't know what it is, but Cheryl Cole's music videos constantly disappoint me. I don't think she's had a particularly memorable video since Fight For This Love, and even that was only because she kept wearing variations of the military outfit when she performed the song live. Who wants to see me in drag wearing it? Of course you do:

Fantastic. Anyway, Cheryl has just released the video for her brand new single The Flood and I am very impressed with it. I like all the moody shots of her looking out the window, and all the footage of the rolling water goes with the song nicely. Here's the video for them what wanna see it:

Lovely song, that. I do hope she doesn't show herself up by trying to sing it live, though. As if all that Geordie/water action from Cheryl wasn't enough, last year's X Factor winner Joe McElderry has also released the video for his alright-at-best-but-come-along-folks-Ambitions-didn't-do-so-well-so-we-really-need-better-than-this new single Someone Wake Me Up and every other shot is that of crashing waves, or gushing water, or people getting splashed:

Dunno about you, but I'm dying for a wee after all that.

And so ends another Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.


  1. Thank you S.O.D. - you always manage to restore sanity to my otherwise insane life.....

  2. I just bought Joe McElderry's album based on this post - now I need the loo...