Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Big Gay Monday: Björk

I'm taking it that it's still Monday, and thus I'm still eligible to post a Big Gay Monday because I cannot sleep so I'm going to make this one a quick one. I'm listening to my "Sleepy Time" playlist on Shuffle, and "Possibly Maybe" by Björk has just come on, and it got me thinking about what an under-rated star Björk is. Of course you know It's Oh So Quiet, a song which, while her most commercially successful, represents Björk so poorly as an artist that she no longer performs it live. Not in an ungrateful-to-the-song sort of way, it just wouldn't flow if she performed it. This in itself is a contradiction because Björk's back catalogue is so diverse and all-over-the-shop that the idea of one song sticking out like a sore thumb is a bizarre notion in itself. But I digress.

It's this aforementioned back catalogue diversity that sums Björk up best and makes her such an eligible candidate for a Big Gay Monday feature about her. Because that is what we gays are all about, surely? Being loud and shouty and elated one minute and the next minute wanting to shut ourselves away and the next minute wanting to punch someone and the next minute being so overcome with passion that if we don't sink our erection into something we are going to die. And that's the beauty of Björk, anything you could possibly be feeling and she has an emotion for it.

Rather than going on with words like I normally would (or, in other words, like a Journalism student probably should) I am going to let Björk's music explain why she is so important to me (or, in other words, do things the lazy way). Here are some of my favourite Björk songs and, with each one, a quote that at some point or another gay people will be able to relate to:

Track: Hyper-Ballad
Album: Post
Underlying Queer Message: "I love you so fucking much, but I'm scared you are going to find out I am a crazy bitch, so I am going to be a crazy bitch in private and pray you never find out".

Track: Declare Independence
Album: Volta
Underlying Queer Message: "Someone is trying to hold you down, yes they are. So you are going to prep yourself up and put your fist in the air and show them that you are a tough bitch. No one pushes you around. No they don't. Work it".

Track: Cocoon
Album: Vespertine
Underlying Queer Message: "I really like fucking you. Would you like to fuck again?"

Weird, eh? Here are some other important queer things to keep in mind about Björk. Madonna once begged her to write a song for her (terrible) album Bedtime Stories, so she gave her a track about how shallow, meaningless pop music was destroying the music industry. Madonna didn't get the irony and released it as a single, not realising Björk was taking the piss out of her. Meanwhile, she was also close friends with Alexander McQueen (even performing a chilling version of Gloomy Sunday at his funeral which- somewhat distastefully- is available to watch on YouTube), who designed her infamous swan dress, as well as the weird outfits she wore in her (disgusting) Pagan Poetry video. She's also collaborated with Anthony Hegarty, an important LGBT spokesperson for the 21st century. And let's not forget, she once hilariously beat up a paparazzi photographer. Amazing stuff.

I have a final music video I urge you to watch. And then I'm done trying to win you over with Björk. Frankly if you don't love her by now then you're never going to, and I've got better things to do with my life then force Icelandic alternative popstars onto my blog readers:

Track: Army Of Me
Album: Post
Underlying Queer Message: "I love you, I really do. And I understand what you're saying. But please. For the love of God. Shut the fuck up. If I have to listen to you speak for one more second I am going to throw you under a bus".


1 comment:

  1. I'm surprised I'm not more into her, really, because I do love her music but just never seemed to get into it. I'm going to give her another shot - ta, Daniel!