Monday, 30 August 2010

Big Gay Monday: Simon Curtis.

You're the devil you're a filthy piece of trash...

It's been a while since I've done Big Gay Monday properly, but I wanted to do my bit to promote my new favourite singer in the universe at this moment in time. I forget exactly how I heard about Simon Curtis but I've been looking for his album for an absolute eternity, and I only discovered this week that his album is, in fact, only available for free download via his website. For free. An album. For free. No guilt. I am, indeed, a Hebburn lad so the idea of getting anything for free is simply fantastic but when it's a beautifully made pop album it just sweetens the deal.

The chances are if you're reading this that you're into the same sort of pop-ish electro-ish music that I am, and if this is the case I heartily recommend checking out Simon Curtis. His album is absolutely gorgeous (and, basically, is everything Adam Lambert's next album should be) and has songs that reference robots, Nintendo 64 and Kelly Clarkson. There's plenty here for nostalgists, pop fans and homosexuals alike. Truly, Simon Curtis is the male Robyn except he does everything independently and gives his album away for free. The fact this is going on while Scouting For Girls continue to actually charge people to listen to their godawful music is an absolute injustice.

Baby, grab a hold of the joystick.

This (once) regular feature is called Big Gay Monday so perhaps I should put a gay slant on things just in the interest of consistency. Simon Curtis makes the most delicious electropop music that you will probably have ever heard in your life, mixing the trashiness of Jeffree Star with the sophistication of Darren Hayes. And let's be honest, Simon Curtis is a good-looking guy it would be foolish to pretend that this isn't important. Let's compare sales of Michelle McManus's album to that of Beyoncé. Do you see what I'm getting at? Music is just better when it's made by attractive people (although obviously there are some exceptions).

Just plug the damn thing in already...

There's more, though, in the form of his lyrical content. He has this song which is called Joystick where he talks about a "joystick" but what he really means is that he wants somebody to grab a hold of his erect cock. Brilliant stuff. We can all relate to that, can't we? Especially gays, all they do is grab each other's pasties. Meanwhile, "Super Psycho Love" deals with the unfortunate topic of a love interest you can't bare anymore in an explosion of melodrama. Finally "Diablo", my personal favourite, features lyrics about someone you just can't get enough of, knowing fine well they are evil incarnate. Can any homosexual out there worth his/her/hisher salt honestly say that he/she/heshe has not experienced this at some point??

And so, I will sum up by reminding you to check out this album. If you hate it, it's free and you've lost nothing. And if, like myself, you love it then I'll have someone to talk about it with. Lovely.


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