Thursday, 8 July 2010

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.


Hello there, folks. I never mentioned on here the fact that the lovely MessyCarla and myself co-hosted a spot on local gay station Pride Radio last Sunday. Well we're back for our second (and final *weeps*) show this Sunday at 6pm, you can listen online for free over here which I would heartily recommend should you find yourself with nothing to do this Sunday. It'll be a laugh, I promise :)

It might have been an unproductive week here at Silly Old Daniel HQ (it has, embarrassingly, been an entire week since I last blogged) but in the world of celebrity it has been all go. And so, it being Friday and all, let's have a look back over the past seven days of celebrity gossip in the Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup...

1. Weed unarguably makes football more interesting. (Holy Moly)

Demure as ever, Miss Hilton.

If you're anything like me, which if you're reading a blog with "big gay adventures" in the title you probably are, then you're sick to fucking death of the World Cup. Our fair nation have been out of the tournament for almost a week now and still you cannot move without people talking about it. Germany getting kicked out over here and Spain doing something over there. It's all very good if you're into that sort of thing but here in the Welsh household we like to watch Coronation Street without week-long breaks so that the masses can watch their football matches. Never mind all that, I want to know what's happening in Weatherfield.

Because it seems Paris Hilton has become so irrelevant in 2010 that she'd show up to the opening of a fucking envelope these days, she obviously saw the World Cup was creating a buzz and decided to show up in South Africa for the Brazil v Holland match, where she created a buzz of her own, following in the footsteps of a certain Miss Rihanna I could mention, by lighting up a joint during the game.

Now I am not a user of illegal substances myself, nor do I condone those who are, but I must admit that I do not blame Paris for puffing the magic dragon during that World Cup match. Let's face facts here, folks. Football is bloody boring. The only way you can enjoy it is if you are on another plain of reality. So while normally I would say "throw the book at her" like the judgemental little princess that I am, let's bear in mind the circumstances surrounding the whole thing.

Of course, after she was detained for possession of an illegal substance, it turned out that- oh, yes, silly me- the drug was actually her mate's and it was her friend who ended up being sentenced and fined. Anyone who still believes that Paris is an idiot has obviously not heard this tale...

2. Brandon Flowers is begging you to be his mate (Lady GaGa, meanwhile, is not). (Popjustice)

I'll bring you Flowers in the pouring rain (y'get it?)

I made quite a mean joke about Paloma Faith begging people to buy her album on Pride Radio on Sunday but at the end of the day there's nothing worse than seeing a respected popstar begging is there? Well, it turns out there is. And that is watching a respected popstar begging you for something while pretending that they aren't begging.

You thought Brandon Flowers was above all that, didn't you? Or maybe you're part of the crew who thinks that because everyone knows who The Killers are now that they're sell-outs (why anyone wouldn't want their favourite band to do well is beyond me, to be honest, I'd bloody love Alphabeat to get the Number 1 single they deserve this year but unfortunately it doesn't seem like that is very likely despite my best efforts). Either way, spangly new solo artist Brandon Flowers has been bribing people over Facebook to "like" his page as a means of seeing his new album artwork. Apparently if enough people "like" his page he will show them the artwork for his upcoming album 'Flamingo'. Oh. My. Goodness.

In related news, one person who doesn't need to bribe anyone to "like" her Facebook page is Lady GaGa. This week it was revealed that she had overtaken US President Barack Obama and is now the most popular living person on Facebook. Bizarrely, the second most popular living person on Facebook is Vin Diesel. Who'd have thought it?

3. Cheryl has outstaged Dannii. A-bloody-gain. (Perez Hilton)

Cheryl and an unidentified older gay gentleman.

"Hey guess what everyone"
"Oh it's you, what do you want?"
"Well you know that fetus that's been gestating in my womb for the past nine months..."
"Hmmm. You mentioned it. What about it?"
"Well I gave birth to it today"
"Really, that's fantastic news. Show us a photo! Do you have names picked out ye--"
"EEEEH FOOKIN' 'ELL 'AV ONLY GURN AND GOT MESELL MALAAAAREE-AH"

You've got to hand it to Dannii Minogue. She's spent her entire life living in the shadow of her sister, only to come out into the light on The X Factor where she ended up being upstaged by the younger and more relevant Cheryl Cole (or is it Cheryl Tweedy, I think it's about time someone released an official statement about these sorts of things).

But at this week it really was Dannii's week. After nine months of chatting on about being pregnant and how excited she was for being a mother, she finally bit her lip and gave birth to baby boy Ethan Smith (with a name like that, and Minogue genes, he really has no choice but to grow up into an Australian-style hottie does he?) and for the first time ever in her life all eyes were on Dannii. What a lovely moment.

It didn't last long though. Because while Dannii might be the one with a newborn, but her sister Kylie Minogue has a brand new album which is now Number 1 in 8 different countries, which she celebrated with an enormous night out in one of Ibiza's biggest night clubs. Dannii couldn't go, she had a screaming baby at home. Still, there'll be other parties. She might have a Number 1 one day...maybe...

As if that wasn't enough of a kick in the nuts for poor Dannii, the front page of The Mirror the day she gave birth announced CHERYL'S GOT MALARIA. For the first time since Cheryl joined The X Factor judging panel, it was finally time for people to look at Dannii with something other than pity and she has her thunder stolen once again. What will it take for Dannii to get one minute in the sun, the poor lass.

4. Jedward "may never dance again" (and the world breathes a sigh of relief). (Digital Spy)
Sit on me.

If anyone was at T4 On The Beach over last weekend you'll have seen Edward Grimes off of Jedward going down like a sack of shite and tearing the ligaments in his leg. How painful and embarrassing. Let's watch (not to be unnecessarily cruel but the entire thing is a waste of your time unless you fast-forward to 1:57, the rest of the performance is marred by Edward's grimacing face as he attempts to dance on his injured leg):



Now I know that I always take Jedward's side in times like this because I feel a bit sorry for them (and would also really like to have sex with them provided they didn't speak the entire time), but how professional of Edward off Jedward to carry on dancing despite having a badly injured leg. More importantly, though, how stupid as it now needs surgery on it.

This reminds me of the first time I ever went to Powerhouse and they were playing a mash-up of Vogue and How Will I Know?. I ran onto the dancefloor and went over on my ankle, not realising there was a step down onto it. Thankfully, by this time I was absolutely inebriated by this point and could not feel how much pain I was in until the next day when I couldn't put any weight on my ankle whatsoever. It was worth it, though. I haven't heard Vogue in Powerhouse since.

Even more professionally still, despite Edward's impending surgery there are no plans for Jedward's upcoming tour to be cancelled, with the pair insisting "we're not going to be like U2" who recently cancelled their Glastonbury performance after Bono hurt his back. Bloody 'ell, what troopers.

5. Li Lo. Li Lo. It's off to jail you go... (Metro)

So "fetch".

As I'm sure you've heard, Lindsay Lohan has been sent down for 90 days following her breaking the terms of her probation. The initial crime was a drink-driving charge all the way back in 2007, and instead of staying in and being a good girl, LiLo has been out on the town getting pissed. She seems to think she can get away with these sort of things, but unfortunately for her she can not and so it's back to the slammer with her.

What people in court at the time did not realise, was that Lindsay had her nails done specially for the trial, and was giving the judge sending her down a secret message each time she raised her hand to her face:


HOW! UNFRIENDLY! Unfortunately for LiLo, this little subliminal message could end up landing her even more time in jail than she had intended, and could end up with her having her sentence extended by almost a week for contempt.

When it comes to making a bad situation even worse, Lindsay always nails it every time...

And so ends another Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup
Yee-haw!

3 comments:

  1. "Cheryl and an unidentified older gay gentleman" actually KILLED me Daniel. xDD

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  2. How I wish my blog was more like yours.

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  3. *blushes* Cheers for that I bloody love your blog as well. FIT PEOPLE AHOY! :p x

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