Monday, 17 May 2010

Big Gay Monday: The Bank Bar.

"I'll see how many people believe we're a straight couple".

The song goes that sometimes you just want to go where everybody knows your name. Admittedly, sometimes where you really want is to go where a six foot drag queen not only knows your name, put will put an obscure Madonna song on for you without you even needing to ask for it. Ladies and gentlemen...The Bank Bar.

Catherine and I performing Overprotected and showing the world why Britney chooses to lipsync.

The Bank Bar has very slowly become my favourite destination on the Newcastle gay scene. I first went to the Bank Bar when I was 15 (naughty) with the gorgeous Sarah-May who eventually became queen of the gay scene (in more ways than one!) before fucking off to York and leaving a void. A VOID. Anyway, The Bank is just the most deliciously camp and gorgeously trashy place you could possibly imagine. For them among you what ain't never been, it is essentially a crash course in what it is to be gay in 2010 in the North East (it is that specific). They play Lady GaGa and then they play Abba. They have boxes full of free condoms, they also have a portrait of Bet Lynch on the wall. It's a mixed bag.

Myself and Carla performing Not Fair and showing the world why Lily Allen has chosen to leave the industry.

If you are sick down yourself in The Bank then a friendly stranger will lend you their shirt. If you take a pretty girl into The Bank (which, of course, I always do. I have a harem of the finest specimens the North East has to offer) then the chances are a topless man selling you shots will give you one for free. If you have a nice arse in The Bank then a middle aged man will reach out and grab it. It is the most delicious place in the world. You can be shaking your arse to Rihanna one minute and the next you're weeping into your vodka as a transvestite murders My Heart Will Go On on the Monday night karaoke.

Need I say more, really? Karaoke! Drag queens! Boys with no tops on! This is what life is about, people!!

(OK, another lazy Big Gay Monday I know but I'm going to The Bank tonight after Rihanna (ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod) so it is in my mind already. That clears that up.)


  1. The Bank is the wonderfully friendly but trashy bar that everybody needs to feel warm, cosy and slightly violated inside :DD xxxxxxx

  2. Beautifully said, Carla :p how accurate xx