Wednesday, 7 April 2010

The Big Gay Reflections of Silly 18-Year-Old Daniel...

Lucy and I on my very first day of being 18, dressed as Lucky Star Madonna and Toxic Britney. I hope I have matured somewhat in the past 12 months.

My friend Carla wrote a lovely little thing about me on her own blog which I insist you read here because she says nice things about me. When I clicked her link, taking me to my own front page, I was horrified that it had been five days since I had posted anything, and even then it was just a list of celebrity tidbits from the previous week. I realised that anyone who found my blog through Carla's would think I was a lazy blogger, and I wouldn't want that. This is my attempt to make up for my negligence.

If you have spoken to me in the last few days I'm sure you will have noticed the conversation leaning towards one particular subject, as it is my birthday on Friday and despite initially only wanting a low-key affair, it seems that in fact everyone I have ever met is coming out to celebrate. I'd like to think this is because I am such a likeable fellow, but I am also well aware that for a lot of people I am a passport to the Newcastle Gay Scene, which is so good that it practically demands capital letters. I, of course, don't mind this one bit. If my homosexuality is going to help business in the gay scene than I am happy to do my part as a Geordie gay. That and, obviously, it never hurts to look popular, does it?

And so, with just two days left before my age actually implies that I am a grownup (for me, turning 19 was always going to be a big deal in terms of "sounding like I should have made something of myself") I reflected on the past 12 years and lessons I have learned as an 18 year old. Since I turned 18 I have seen all three of my idols live in concert, finished my A Levels and started University. I have been onstage twice and finally had my hair cut. I have kissed sixteen boys and had zero boyfriends.


1. Most people are completely insane. People who, on your first meeting, show signs of mental illness are not the ones to avoid because they are the ones who are giving it all away up front. It's the people who don't seem mental that you want to watch out for, because they are the ones who will shock you when they are smearing your walls with their shite.

2. There are worse things in the world than going home without having pulled someone. Throwing yourself at someone for the simple reason that the club is shutting in half an hour and "this guy" might be your last chance for the night is not attractive. Conversely, what people do sexually is no one's business and no one has the right to pass judgement on that.

3. If someone asks you back to their house it does not mean they want to be your boyfriend. Once you throw your clothes on and stumble out there is a high chance you will never see them again.

4. It is possible, with the right people, to enjoy yourself without getting absolutely off your box. Getting off your box is, of course, a fun way to pass the time as well. On that note, drinking as a way of getting over your bad mood is usually not a good idea, as you will only come down harder and start asking strangers what you did that angered God enough to make you as ugly as you are, even though you are perfectly acceptable looking.

5. There is nothing so toxic as the venom of a gay man.

6. When you ask someone whether or not to make a drastic change to your look and they say to you "but that's who you are", then I can promise you that there is nothing so liberating as making that change. I don't regret keeping my (hideous, hideous, hideous) long hair as long as I did, but finally getting my hair cut was the smartest thing I have done in all of my days.

7. Conversely, you can try all you want but if people think you are a freak then you can try all you want but they are never going to stop. Embrace it. Make it work for you. Lady GaGa said that she "never felt sexy at high school" and now she is undoubtedly the biggest star on the planet.

And, of course, the Silly Old Daniel Golden Rule that has definitely been true this year. I have said this once and I will say it a million times:

8. People can and will surprise you in ways you never would have expected. Never write any off, never presume anyone is always going to be there. Never put all your hopes on someone, never think of someone as totally hopeless. As well as never doubting other people, never doubt yourself, because at some point or another you will prove yourself capable of bouncing back from just about anything.

Loves, I hope to see you all on Friday, I'm sure it'll be a night of epic proportions.



  1. Cannot wait to see you on Friday my love! Lucy xx

  2. I'm trying to pull in Sam for your birthday! I've got you a present :)