Monday, 26 April 2010

Big Gay Monday: Alphabeat

Give me something I can dance to.

This is more a plea for you to go and listen to Alphabeat than anything else, because they truly are the bestest band in the whole wide world. Their music is absolutely gorgeous. Lady GaGa made pop music good again by glorifying the shallow ideals that it supposedly supported, but Alphabeat (who actually supported her on her Monster Ball Tour) are the opposite of that. Their songs are gorgeous ditties about dancing and love and living a happy life. They aren't political and they aren't controversial, they're just joyous and completely luscious. All well and good, but why are they at the centre of Big Gay Monday this week? Well let me ask you, of the six members of Alphabeat do you know the sexuality of any of them? There's speculation about all of them, they're constantly playing Pride events and even performed at Powerhouse, which I'm sure we're all aware is the greatest gay club in the world. And yet, there's no confirmation either way about the group's sexuality thus proving they're all about the lovely music which is more than can be said for rockstars who go around talking about all the women's vaginas that they've putting their penises inside of.

He's not your boyfriend he's mine.

My favourite Alphabeat song (and, as it happens, favourite song of all time) is Boyfriend, which Stine (the lass) says the band wrote together after watching a film about a lesbian relationship, and was originally called Girlfriend. The song is about being in a gay relationship and not being arsed about what other people think ("my parents they don't wanna see me, my friends say I'm uncool but I let love rule") because it's not other people who have to deal with it, it's you ("he's not your boyfriend, he's mine.") On top of that brilliant message, the song is absolutely incredible. Of course it is. It's by Alphabeat. Meanwhile in Rubber Boots Anders sings that "you should wear rubber, always wear rubber" which I believe is an ode to what Jeremy Kyle would call "putting something on the end of it" which is an important message for the gays who cannot keep passing their AIDS between each other like some sort of hot potato.

Get down and go-go.

For their second album, Alphabeat have taken on a whole new image which is more spangly, more glittery and more dark than their previous album. The music is also more 90s dance-oriented than their previous 80s-inspired debut. Think Rhythm Is A Dancer. Think You Got The Love. Think RIIIGHT ON TIME. RIGHT ON RIGHT ON TIIIIME. RIIIIIGHT ON TIME. You know the one. It's incredible, it's different to everything else in the charts while in keeping with the 2009/2010 pop music revival.

Unfortunately Hole In My Heart, the best song on The Beat Is... only charted at No. 29. This is no good whatsoever, folks. And so I urge you to go out and download all the Alphabeat tracks that you possibly can, because there are no bad Alphabeat songs. More importantly there is not a single Alphabeat song that you can listen to without thinking to yourself afterwards "you know what, life's not so bad is it?" And there ain't nothing wrong with that.

To sum up, Alphabeat are absolutely incredible and if you don't agree then you obviously don't want to be happy, and in that case you never will be.

Check out: The Spell, DJ, Fascination


  1. I <3 Alphabeat.

    I wasn't hugely impressed by there second album, but i did like some of 'the spell'. You are so right about the best song being 'Hole in my Heart'.

    once again, love your blog.

  2. Aw once again thanks for the nice comment :) x