Friday, 19 March 2010

The Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup.

I am hungoverhungoverhungover. So let's all get a cup of tea, put up our feet and look back over the last seven days of celebrity gossip through the bitchiest eyes in the North East...

1. Sony cleverly drop Jedward. Universal not-so-cleverly sign them up. (Digital Spy)

Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! And so on...

Music-listeners across the globe breathed a sigh of relief this week as the news came that after one Number 2 single, Sony had decided to drop Jedward from their record label. Brilliant news, we wouldn't have to endure any more of their music but perhaps they could do some form of presenting, or children's TV, or porn or something like that.

The relief, though, was short-lived as days later Universal announced that they had decided to sign Jedward up. Why they chose to do this is completely beyond me. I do like Jedward but it must be acknowledged that they can not sing a note in tune. Not one note. Why should they have now been signed up by not one but two record labels when their singing is completely horrific. Even bloody Britney could sing once upon a time, but these two!! There are no words.

2. Pixie Lott goes out and scratches her fanny. (Holy Moly)

What would your daddy say?

I don't normally agree with paparazzi printing photos of people in unflattering or misleading poses, but I really don't like Pixie Lott and it's always funny to watch someone fiddling with their crotch, so just this once I'll let it slip through the net.

Pixie Lott was wandering about this week, and was caught fiddling on with herself. That is basically the story in its entirety, either I could be a good journalist and pad it out by saying where she was and where she was going and who she was with, or I could just sort my life out and show you the pictures.

Excellent.

Just what you wanna see.

3. Wankmusik. (Popjustice Forums)

Frankmusik and Silly Old Daniel. In one photo. What more could you want, man?

Frankmusik has been a bad boy. A very, very bad, bad boy GaGa. Photos of him cracking one out leaked onto the Interweb earlier this week. Much like the previous Pixie Lott story, that is the story in its entirety so let's have a look at what some of the Popjustice forum members have been saying:




If you'd like you can view the picture for yourself here is a censored version since obviously this is a family blog, but if you like you can see the uncensored version here but bloody 'ell there's a nude cock if you click the link so on your head be it:

Another otherwise fit photo ruined by the image of Britney Spears' bald head.

4. Joe McElderry gets surprisingly hot. (The Sun)

Cheryl Cole 2.0.

X Factor winner and local lad Joe McElderry has signed up with Next Modelling Agency, who also cater for Daisy Lowe and Alexa Chung (who, in my honest opinion, should both be exterminated) and the pictures released so far from his photoshoot are surprisingly fit. Just goes to show the wonders of airbrushing, eh?

Let's see what Perez Hilton had to say about all this:


See the pictures for yourself here. Lovely!


5. I don't think Lady GaGa is very well. (Digital Spy)

Have a rest, pet.

There's an unfortunate video doing the rounds at the moment of Lady GaGa performing Bad Romance in New Zealand or somewhere like that, and she is clearly not up for it. The woman has to keep sitting down, a stage we should stress that even Madonna hasn't reached yet and Madonna is not a young woman. Let's have a look, shall we?:


This is not a well woman. She seems exhausted, forgets the words to the second verse of the song and almost goes an entire chorus without singing. It's impossible to watch this, as a Lady GaGa fan, and not feel somewhat responsible. I think when the (seemingly never-ending) Monster Ball Tour finally finishes, Lady GaGa needs to put her feet up and just take a year out.

I tell you what, with all the elaborate costumes, dance routines and music videos she's got going on, it does make you wonder how people like Lily Allen can even think about retiring or complaining of a hectic schedule or anything like that.

We love you GaGa, don't kill yourself with work!

And so ends another Silly Old Daniel Celebrity Roundup
Yee-haw!

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