Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Handbags at dawn.


Big Gay John Partridge off of Eastenders is slagging Big Gay Antony Cotton off of Coronation Street off, calling him a "tea-time gay" and his character Sean Tulley a "stereotype". Now before I proceed any further with this rant I'd like to stress that I have, in the past, referred to Sean from Coronation Street as "a gay that nanas like" that I would not personally want to be compared with, but shall we let bygones be bygones with that for the purposes of this particular blog. Because if there is one thing I hate it is fighting within the gay community, which normally stems from someone believing someone else is a stereotype or a cliché or an embarrassment to gay people.

We can have civil unions and we can vote and we can adopt and we have our own bars and magazines and porn. But we are still frigging outcasts, and that's just how it is. And in my view, when you're part of a massive band of outcasts like the gay community, you should stick together as much as possible (for those of you with minds in the gutter, I am not discussing spit roasting or anything in that manner). When Lady GaGa came out last Thursday and sang Boys Boys Boys, dedicating it to the gays in the audience, I almost had tears in my eyes because I really did feel like I was a part of something special. The largely gay audience were obviously all thinking the same thing and it was a lovely moment of togetherness for the gays gathered there. Walking out to meet... y'know... that lad, I was on my own but I did get into conversations with about five or six gay lads. Because it was that sort of night. Everyone was there for the same reason and everyone was there with the same intentions. Lovely.

Unfortunately, the gay scene is normally plagued with judgement and prejudices, which is a shame because the whole point of a gay bar is that one can get away from all the judging and discriminatory behaviour. Of course, the sad fact is that if you segregate a community of people whose entire nature is based around bitchiness and judgement, at some point or another they are going to turn on each other.

Until very recently I've always felt like a bit of an outcast in the gay scene. I've always felt like a bit of an ugly duckling whenever I've shuffled in with my silly hair and bright clothes. I don't have designer stubble, I don't like Kylie and I don't wear designer boxers, and I've always felt like I didn't really fit into the gay 'scene' because of this. I've been at the brunt of the alpha gays looking down on me and my camp voice and my silly laugh and, to quote Stanford from Sex And The City, I have felt "like an outcast from the outcasts". I don't have casual sex and I don't do poppers and I've never exposed myself on the Internet. There's nothing wrong with it if you are a gay man who does these things I applaud you, it's completely your right to express your freedom in this way. I just wish more of the alpha gays understood that it's my right not to do these things as well.

If it's a recent example you're after, I was talking to my friend Simon in the toilets at The Bank Bar post-GaGa on Thursday night, when some guy came out of a cubicle and started mocking my demeanour and general attitude. I did not care for this- not because of what he was saying, just for the fact that he felt the need to say it all in the first place. Surely as a gay man he knew how it felt for a stranger to make snap criticisms about him and make him feel pre-judged. Why then was he getting out his anger on a perfect stranger in a bar toilet? On his way out, I gave him a smile and left him with my traditional "Enjoy your life, because one day we'll die". "With hair like that," he said, "I'm not surprised". Touché.

I'm not saying that every single gay, lesbian and bisexual person has to get along with every single other gay, lesbian or bisexual person because that would be ridiculous. What I am saying is that there is too much judgement and prejudice in the places that are meant to be a refuge from all of that. As same-sex-lovin' people we have come a long way from the days of being named and shamed in the streets and put in prison. Looking back we've come an awfully long way since the pre-Stonewall days. But if we're being realistic, I can't imagine many of the original gay freedom fighters would be happy if they could walk around the so-called gay Utopia we've created.

Lovely words, Daniel. But what are you getting at?
What I'm getting at is next time you're in a gay bar and you see some screaming queen and roll your eyes at them and think "ugh, if I ever get that gay then kill me", do remember that they have as much right to be there as you; why do you have such a problem with them expressing their homosexuality so much in the first place? We're all in this together, bitches! Gay pride!

1 comment:

  1. i fancy you more than a stubbly, orange, muscular mess ANYDAY!
    there's a chris crocker video somewhere where he puts forward the same arguments as you do :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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