Saturday, 13 February 2010

Anti-Anti-Valentines Day.

A teddy bear massacre is not the answer.

Evening all. I'm here to have a chat about being single and how I think that this Valentines Day single people need to chill out. I'm having another one of those days where I sit around the house watching Lady GaGa being a royal bitch to journalists on YouTube (I love her but part of me just wants her to climb up her own rancid vagina and die), making myself slices of toast and refreshing Facebook every few seconds in case I'm missing something fascinating. And all over the place are statuses about how depressed everyone is being single, or the anti-Valentines Day plans people have.

What the actual fuck?

Now I am not saying it is easy not having a "someone special" when there are hearts popping up in shop windows all over the place and rom-coms taking up half of the screens in the cinema and people sending each other boastfully slushy messages all over the place on Facebook (these people, admittedly, should be exterminated slowly and painfully). There are worse things in the world, though. For example, tomorrow I am spending Valentines Day with my University friends, Karen and Nikki. I will throw my hands up and say this is not an ideal situation, not least because the chances of sex with Karen and/or Nikki are pretty slim (admittedly this is mostly due to my homosexuality and not any character flaw on the part of Karen and/or Nikki), but it is a situation nonetheless and I intend to make the most of it.

Valentines Day is just 1 day out of 365, the next day is just like any other where people get back to their jobs and problems and lives, but Valentines Day is about showing people you care about that you care about them. Does this mean that single people do not get to share in the Valentines fun?

Personally, I'd say that as single people we have two options (three if you count just ignoring the day which, obviously, is a perfectly acceptable- if not somewhat cold- way of dealing with things). Either we can bitch about the tackiness and the ridiculousness of the day, and be bitter and negative towards the whole thing. We can…but what is actually the point? Exactly what are all the people having anti-Valentines Day events tomorrow achieving? As far as I can see single people should take the high road and follow the other option, just spending the day with other people they care about and, rather than having anti-Valentines Day fun, should just have an alternative Valentines Day. For me this does involve getting drunk and watching The Shining, because that is just how I roll.

I realise I'm known these days for being quite bitter and cynical towards the whole "relationships" thing, but I do believe that it's love that spurs us on to get on with things. I'm not even talking about the great love of life we all should have or whatever. But I love writing and I love celebrities, and that's what gets me out of bed on a morning to get to University and sit through lectures about Journalism (there I said it, and if any of my lectures are reading this I'm afraid that's the sad truth). I love going to McDonalds and that's the thought that gets me through particularly strenuous shifts at work. I love pretending that people actually take notice of what I'm saying, and that's what brought me to start writing this in the first place. Most of the time, it will be love that has driven us to do anything (admittedly most of those other times will have been driven by hate but that can wait for another blog).

So all of you who are getting together for anti-Valentines Day fun tomorrow need to ask yourself: is one day a year that's all about love really that terrible?


  1. fuck me. this is an amazing professional sounding blog WITH ONLY 1 BREIF MENTION OF LADY GAGA. i really reeeally enjoyed reading this . you are good man . xxxxx

  2. 1 GaGa mention per blog's not bad going really :p x