Sunday, 17 January 2010

They say they wish to cure us, but I say to you, we are the cure.

Welcome to 2010. Women have the vote, gays can take each other down the aisle and hosts of multi-racial people are flocking into the streets, holding hands and singing "Who Will Buy This Wonderful Morning" from Oliver, kicking their heels as they go. Acceptance and tolerance- what a time to be alive.

Adolf and Eva 2.0

Why then, when watching the TV the other day, was I greeted with the message "If you're single you should know about eHarmony". Brutal! No "you might like to know about eHarmony", no compliment first to cushion the blow, no option about it. They went straight in for the kill:

"If you're single, you should know about eHarmony". As if eHarmony can cure the unfortunate and unsightly malady that single people have unknowingly found themselves riddled with.

"You're single?? I assume you're cripplingly lonely, just look at yourself. Don't worry, give all your money to a website and we'll randomly select a social recluse who also can't find a match in the real world to waste the next six months of your life infatuated with."

"Well I can see there's no someone special in your life, you should allow yourself to be degradingly judged by a team of online losers with standards too high to actually go out and look for someone, because nothing says romance like sheepishly showing your genitals to someone you barely know on your third MSN webcam conversation only for them to realise your flaws and three weeks later send screenshots of your peepshow to all their friends."

"Single, is it?? Don't worry, eHarmony have a cream for that."

Now, I am not condemning Internet dating, I did have that Gaydar flutter myself last year (I did, however, originally think it was the gay equivalent of Facebook. It was only when I realised I was filling in "circumsised or uncircumsised" on my profile and having middle-aged men sending me pictures of their erections that I realised it was perhaps not as wholesome as I'd initially thought), but I don't agree with it being there to make people think that, because it is now so simple for a computer to find an online partner for you, people now have no excuse not to be seeing anyone.

Why, oh why, oh why is it so hard for people to understand that there are worse things in the world than being single?? I know that I'm not always completely happy being single, but then people in relationships aren't exactly happy around the clock either. For me, being single means being able to do what you want and not needing to worry about upsetting someone else. Being single means staying out as late as you want with whoever you want. Being single means being happy in yourself, and not constantly worrying about anyone else. And at the end of the day, which of these songs is more likely to get you running to the dance floor...?

I rest my case.


  1. ...Is that title from X-Men 3?

    Love the new blog :) Lucy xx

  2. It is indeed from X Men 3 which, while I have not seen, I love that quote from I think it is fantastic. I can imagine Ian McKellen in all his homosexuality exclaiming it from the bottom of his heart x


  3. I thought as much! Gotta love a bit of Ian McK.